frommtvtomommy

Nudity and sex on Film: Where are the men?

In memoir, sex on February 12, 2014 at 2:51 am

I’m not a lunatic dying to see naked men. The majority of the population is not so hot. Keep your pants on. This question is about sexism, pure and simple. You won’t see a penis on television  because after all these years, sex is still for men, and  male pleasure.

Everytime an erotically-tinged movie comes out, people rave about how hot it is. Well, being the curious woman and a fully-empowered one, (by this I mean I am not embarrassed of my sexuality, but I also won’t let people construct me as an object anymore) I wait for the sign of male genitalia.

Nope, I never see one. Not even a tiny little testicle.

Sorry if I hurt anyone’s ego.

Greek God

Yet this erotically-charged supposedly, “sexy” movie will always have tons of female nudity. Sure, you aren’t going to get a close up of the Beav, but you’d be hard pressed to even see a pubic hair from a  male. The scene revolves around the female body, showing it, displaying it, and portraying her as the object–the receiver of pleasure, the sole being in some sorts in the actual act itself. Men are just there to be the vehicle.

You can argue about that point, but what I am trying to say is, “Why is sex always shot from the male perspective in a movie?”

What about gay men, lesbians, and women? What about what we want?

I’m not saying that all of the aforementioned group wants to see a penis. I am not saying I need to see one. What I am saying though, is that women are still simply the object that one looks at through the video camera lens. Our bodies, our submissiveness, our desirability is at all points discussed, dissected, and displayed.

Men are never filtered through this same lens.

It is hard to live with a metaphorical camera, much less a physical one, always on one’s body. Every item of clothing, piece of media, or story seems to come back to how attractive we are. If we are letting ourselves get “screwed” or not. If we are attractive enough to end up in the “lens” of the male eye.

We are always seen through men. Men decide what will be sexy. Sex is for men’s satisfaction.

I would love to see a barrage of movies made–big films–that depict men as simple eye and sex candy. I would like men to be filtered through this physical and metaphorical camera each day.

When I was on MTV, I was treated with the utmost respect by staff and coworkers. There was one time though when on spring break, I was told I had to wear a bikini, and hey it was Cancun and spring break, so I got it. It wasn’t immodest or a thong or anything, but I had wanted to wear a miniskirt and tank top. Why? I was in awesome shape but suffering through severe body dysmorphic disorder and eating disordered behavior. My awesome close coworkers and stylist had tried to help that go through for me, but couldn’t. I was always encouraged by folks to deal with my issues. Grateful to have had that experience.

Anyway, I wore the bikini, but I thought to myself, how much easier it would have been if I were a guy. No one would have needed to see me in a swimsuit, but a sexy female ups the ante. People want to see women. Digest women. View women. Inspect women.

Ever since I grew breasts, I have faltered between being a person and being an object. It’s what I’m writing about in memoir, it’s what has made me put pen to paper. It’s what has made me struggle between how to enjoy sex and express my wants, without becoming a victim of abuse or acting as someone’s live sex doll.

So for once I say, turn the cameras onto men. Let them see what it is like to be on air all day. To be the focus of media. Let us inspect you. Dominate you. Subjugate you. Commodify you.

It’s time.

Signed a girl who loves her breasts but is more than her breasts,

Laura

  1. When will you see a penis? Probably in the same film where you see a vagina. Topless men, just as common as topless women, more common. Any film that shows between any one’s legs gets a XXX rating.

    Men do decide what men find attractive about women. This is split between tits and ass, and we see lots of it in movies. Women decided what women find attractive about men. This is split between bulging biceps and displays of wealth (custom tailored tuxedos and such), and we see lots of it in movies.

    Is it any surprise that men are not objectified as women or that women are not objectified as men?

    Signed a man who’s more than just his wallet.

    • Of course…we won’t see genitals as it’s not a porn…but that wasn’t my focus as much as how women are the focus of the sex in film. Or more accurately, the female body. I agree that men are often judged by their musculature and money…and that isn’t fair either, for sure. I don’t think it is the same though as what women deal with with their bodies. I liked your point though! Thank you for reading :)

  2. There certainly does seem to be a double standard but I don’t understand why. I would think that if people wanted naked men Hollywood would produce it.

  3. ummm…Shame with Michael Fassbender?

  4. […] He or she knows everything about you. It’s boring. Boredom doesn’t equal hot sex, although yes, there is a joy to familiarity and comfortable intimacy. You shouldn’t have to […]

  5. I am personally tired that in 2014 it is still such a one sided, sexist world. For instance, watching the movie: Wolf of Wall Street. OMG Boobs, Butt, Vagina .. Really? TIRED of feeling like this is just a Man’s world, WE WANT COCK, WE WANT COCK … Sorry, just got carried away. Lol

  6. I am still waiting to see a vagina/vulva. I have seen a lot of dick in the movies but not much vulva. We are talking lips not fake hair just like you see a cock. Let’s see some vulva if you want to see dick.

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