In anxiety, fitness & wellness on August 22, 2016 at 7:58 pm
People mean well and want to help, but when someone is experiencing anxiety or feeling nervous, the last thing we need is more useless cliches that don’t help us one bit. It’s hard to understand anxiety unless you have experienced it. Most people have felt anxious in their lifetimes, but if you’ve ever experienced the glory of a panic attack or been so anxious you felt sick, you know why I see red when people say, “Just relax.”
Newsflash, Einstein: if we could just relax, we would.
This of course doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to manage your anxiety. When I am feeling anxious, exercise, deep breathing, stretching, and time with friends help me feel better. Sometimes it also means shutting down my cell phone and not bothering with anyone, minus my daughter.
But when someone tries to give you unhelpful advice about anxiety for the 50th time, it’s enough to make you want to check out of dodge for the weekend.
1. “Just Relax”
Look, do you have a magic wand to erase this feeling of dread? If you did, you would use it and if Idid, so would I. Telling me to “just relax” is not helpful.
Read More: 7 Things I Don’t Want You to Say When I’m Feeling Anxious
In motherhood on August 12, 2016 at 8:20 pm
In a day and age in which there’s a shooting seemingly every day, there is so much for a mom to fear. A part of me can’t help but wax nostalgic and idealize the time in which I got to be a child and grow up. Now, times feel scarier by the minute. If a mom thinks too much about what’s going on in the world, she might go crazy. This is something we can all explicitly state and share with each other: today’s world is scary. Many of us are afraid. It’s socially acceptable to share this.
But there is one fear that no mom wants to dare say out loud.
One thing that we all think from time to time, but dare not say because, well, it makes us feel ashamed.
Inferior to our peers.
The mommy wars exist not because they have to for survival, but because inside of many of us — all of us, I daresay — is a fear that perhaps we are doing this motherhood thing all wrong. That perhaps we really don’t have a clue about what we are doing with our children.
The secret fear that maybe we don’t know what we are doing at all.
That maybe, as a mom, we are just not good enough.
Let’s be honest — mommy wars also exist because we are all (well, I think) evolutionary mammals striving to survive and thrive in a modern-day world that changes faster than we can gather another breath. If we aren’t parenting our kids effectively or making smart choices, our kids and our own selves won’t do well.
Read More: The Secret Fear That No Mom Wants to Say Out Loud
We Are Good Enough,
In motherhood, parenthood on August 12, 2016 at 8:17 pm
People say it’s judgmental to knock parents for using their phones. We’re only human after all, right? We have the right to take a break. Socialize. Respond to work emails. Share sweet photos of our babies on Instagram. Obsess over the latest celebrity tweet. Veg out and scroll through our Facebook feed.
We have the right and damn it, we are only human.
I, too, am only human. I, too, check my phone for work purposes or to share a cute photo of my girl on Instagram.
Phones are very much a large part of our worlds. It’s like how the answering machine and CD player became must haves in the ’80s: our phones are our fifth appendage.
But you see, phones are more than a necessity or tool for socialization. They are the competition. They are what diverts our eyes, distracts our attention, and keeps us from focusing on the people in front of us — mainly our children.
Read More: If You’re a Parent With a Phone, You Need to Read This
We Love Our Phones, But Maybe TOO Much,