5 Things I Won’t Ever Apologize for as a Single Mom

I’ve said sorry more times than I care to admit. I’ve apologized for so many things.

I’ve apologized …

  • For stuff I’ve actually done
  • Crap I thought about doing
  • Things I wanted to do
  • For things I worried I might do
  • For things I’ve never even done
  • For my existence

Women are raised to apologize and be “good” all the time. Couple that with some insecurities and, bam, you’ve got a walking, talking apology machine.

But each day, week, month, and year, I get a bit stronger and a bit more sure of myself. And I’m tired of saying “sorry,” “my apologies,” “I didn’t mean to,” and a whole bunch of other phrases that all make me put my metaphorical tail between my legs.

Read More: 5 Things I Won’t Ever Apologize for as a Single Mom

NOT Sorry,

Laura

4 Meaningful Twists On The Divorce Party To Help You Heal

Nowadays, people don’t just sign the divorce papers and move on with their lives. People party.

Literally, folks throw divorce parties.

It sounds a bit sarcastic and ironic to some people—and maybe even wrong, but for some who have gone through the process and rebuilt their lives due to a divorce, a party seems more than appropriate.

It is a brand-new life—one that is wildly different than the one you celebrated on your wedding day. So, why not make a toast to this new uncharted territory? However, while a party may be nice, there are other ways to mark and honor this new chapter in your life that go beyond cocktails and celebratory martinis.

Try one of these 4 meaningful twists on the divorce party to truly get your new life started on the right foot:

The Divorce Hike

Before you go joking that your ex would be happy if you fell off a cliff, consider all the real mental and physical ways a hike can change you.

Gathering with friends or going alone (if you’re not a novice hiker) is a truly spiritual way to celebrate your entrance to this new life.

Read More: 4 Meaningful Twists On The Divorce Party To Help You Heal

Go For It!

Laura

17 Funny Divorce Sayings To Make You Put On A Happy Face

Divorce is no laughing matter but if you don’t laugh a bit throughout the process and find the good, it’s going to kill your spirit. Making light and finding humor in life is a key coping strategy for getting through the bad and moving on to the good in life. Keep these 17 funny sayings and quotes about divorce in your back pocket for whenever you need a good smile—and a laugh!

1. When you physically feel ill—don’t worry … you’re not alone!

Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass.
-Mary Kay Blakely

2. Be wary of lawyers …

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, any more than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.
– Jean Kerr

Read More: 17 Funny Divorce Sayings To Make You Put On A Happy Face

Laugh a Little,

Laura

What It’s Really Like Being the Baby of the Family

As the last of four girls, I am an official expert on being the youngest. And, yes, there is an expertise to being the best youngest sibling. The oldest always gets the credit for being independent or hardworking. The middle child gets credit for, well, being ignored most of their lives — or, cleverly, being “great mediators” and “peacemakers.” But the youngest?

The youngest children are touted as pure rebels or brats. Which might be a tiny bit true but is also, completely unfair to badmouth our existence and forget all that we truly excel at.

Here’s the real deal on what it’s like to be the baby of the family — the good, bad and the ugly.

Everyone thinks we’re in diapers, even when we’re 40

People forget that you’re a grown adult with a mortgage or rent to pay when you’re the baby of the family.

Read More: What It’s Really Like Being the Baby of the Family

I Was Probably a “Surprise,”

Laura

How To Put Your Kid Ahead Of Your Ego With The Custody Schedule

Making a custody schedule is about as fun as stubbing your toe on a Lego or getting food poisoning. However, if you’re divorcing with kids you’ve got to make a schedule that works, which means rolling up your sleeves with your ex and potentially, a mediator or lawyers if needed (hopefully not) and putting it in writing.

The hardest part of all of this is putting your kids before yourself.

It shouldn’t be. I mean, a custody schedule is all about the children, but it’s not uncommon for divorcing parents to let their egos get in the way when making a schedule for their kids.

The bottom line is, of course, you and your ex need to consider your own personal needs and work schedules, but the kids’ needs have to come first.

Here are a few tips to keep your ego in check and put your kids first:

Read More: How To Put Your Kid Ahead Of Your Ego With The Custody Schedule

Put Them First,

Laura

How to Stop The Cycle of Negativity

It’s very hard to break the cycle of negativity … especially if you don’t even realize you’re in it. When we get in a funk or feel hopeless, the thoughts tend to generate so rapidly that it can be a slippery situation to get out of. Suddenly, everything looks really bleak and one bad thing just proceeds to the next. Stepping out of that dark cloud could feel impossible.

But, we all feel negative, sad or dark at times. This is part of our humanity and normal.

Peter J. Economou, Ph.D., ABPP- Board Certified Cognitive and Behavioral Therapy, also known as Dr. Pete, shares that “Research tells us that most of us have negative thoughts— in fact, the majority of our thoughts are negative, so working on accepting them helps people develop a healthier relationship with these thoughts so that they don’t impact the behavior. I like to think of those negative thoughts as passengers on the bus, rather than the bus driver. So, how do we accept these thoughts and cycles, while committing to healthier and more peaceful living? That is key.”

Read More: How to Stop The Cycle of Negativity

Positivity Is Contagious,

Laura

The 7 Stages of Breastfeeding No One Warns You About

You’ve decided to breastfeed even before the baby arrives, and so there you are shopping for nursing bras. Everything seems so exciting. You’ve “estimated your size” and feel you’ll have plenty of room once your milk comes in. Life is swell.

Then the baby comes.

After the baby gets here, your milk arrives shortly thereafter — unless it takes a hot minute, which can happen — and then everything is totally different than you imagined.

Here are the seven stages of breastfeeding — the good, the bad, and the ugly — that no one else will tell you about.

The ‘oh crap, my nursing bras are too small!’ stage

You thought you sized correctly but you didn’t, and the bras don’t fit. You can barely squeeze a nipple in that vaguely ’80s bra with unnecessary flowers and other grandmotherly details.

contain yourself in the Band-Aids — I mean, the nursing bras — you bought.

Read More: The 7 Stages of Breastfeeding No One Warns You About

Milk Does a Body Good,

Laura

6 Changes You May Hit in Your Forties That No One Talks About

The forties are the “me” decade. You awkwardly stumbled, twirled and partially danced through your twenties. Gained your footing and planted seeds for your life in your thirties. In your forties, the roots are growing and you stand tall.

But the decade doesn’t come without its bumps and bruises, of course.

I’m not a doctor or therapist, so I can’t offer any medical advice, and I know that everyone will have a different experience. But the forties may bring about some of these changes for you whether emotionally, or physically.

 

What 3-Year-Olds Think They Can Do Vs. What They Actually Do

I can spot a 3-year-old from a mile away.

The blatant defiance. The haughty confidence. The absolute adorableness, despite those two horrendous flaws. The look of pure stress and frustration on a parent’s face. The tactful negotiations that ensue over even the smallest situations like, “Who’s going to press the elevator button?”

Clearly, the PR campaign for the Terrible Twos was false and simply serving as a distraction and deterrent from you realizing that the Threes are a hell of a lot worse, for there is no one more infuriating, stubborn, or adorable than a 3-year-old. The cojones these children have and their pure drive is almost inspiring — and definitely crazy.

Here are just five things 3-year-olds think they can do versus what they can actually do:

Drive a Car vs. Cut Off Your Toe With a Little Tikes Vehicle

When my daughter was 3, she told me vehemently, “I’m going to get in the car and drive to where I wanna go!”

I laughed (which she did not like) and said, “You go ahead and try,” knowing reaching the pedals wasn’t even a remote possibility. Of course, I didn’t give her the keys.

Read More: What 3-Year-Olds Think They Can Do Vs. What They Actually Do

Good Luck!

Laura

The Most Important Thing to Look For in a Partner as a Single Man or Woman

As you’re swiping, scoping or chatting with potential partners, I bet the first two things that strike you are:

  • The person’s looks
  • The person’s attitude

After you’ve assessed those two basic things, you drill down into the nitty gritty– especially if you’re a single parent dating:

  • Do they have kids? If yes, do they see them often. If no, do they want kids?
  • Were they married? Do they want to get married again?
  • What do they do for work?
  • What’s the person’s lifestyle like?
  • What are the person’s goals for the next year or so?
  • Where do they live? Is it far from you? Do they live on their own or with other people?

All of these things give you an idea of whether you’ll want to date them– or not. And truly, they are all important factors but after it’s all said and done and you’ve found someone who fits the bill on all of the previously mentioned factors– consider this one single most important thing you should look for in a partner:

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