6 Things I Want My Daughter to Remember About Me, Even After I’m Gone

We always want our children to think the best of us — just as much as they want us to think the best of them. Have you ever sat down and thought about what exactly you want your kids to remember most about you when it’s all said and done? The reality is this — so much of how we are can become how our children are. They absorb so much of us, from our behaviors and habits to our likes and dislikes, even when we don’t realize they’re watching and listening.

As a single mom raising an only child, I really feel the weight of all I do. Worrying about caring for her and having the entire financial burden on my shoulders sometimes makes me think I’m going to break, but I don’t. I keep carrying on and doing my thing. And that’s just one of the things I want her to remember about me: that I never give up, no matter how hard life gets. I take the punches like a big girl, and I dish it right back, fighting and appreciating the little things in life.

Here are the six big things I want my daughter to always remember about me.

Read More: 6 Things I Want My Daughter to Remember About Me, Even After I’m Gone

Love Is Never-Ending,

Laura

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7 Reasons for Breast Pain Before Your Period (& Sometimes, After)

“Why are my breasts sore?” It’s a question many women ask themselves, especially if they’re suffering from sore breasts before period cycles.

I have dealt with severe pain and sore breasts for the past few years because I have fibrocystic breasts. I didn’t know, however, that I had fibrocysts until I ended up with a painful lump after my yearly breast exam and had to go for an early mammogram.

In general, it’s not unusual to have tender breasts before your period, but why does it happen in the first place? And what else could be causing you to have general breast pain? Here are 10 things that could be causing your breast pain:

1. Progesterone

During the second half of your menstrual cycle, your progesterone levels rise. In particular, these levels rise the week before your period. When progesterone levels rise, this causes your milk ducts to swell. Translation? It can make your breasts very tender.

Read More: 7 Reasons for Breast Pain Before Your Period (& Sometimes, After)

Periods Are A Pain,

Laura

How My Friendships Feed Me (Literally & Emotionally) After Divorce

While many people internally panic about the idea of being alone after divorce, one of the few anecdotes to “divorce” depression is not another partner, but the people you call your friends. In fact, for a lot of people, divorce can really fracture friendships because couples may have shared a lot of mutual friends, leaving people to more often than not, pick sides over who they are going to align with, even if in truth they really like both spouses a lot. In my case, my ex and I had some mutual friends that had to navigate new friendships with us after divorce, but most of my close friends were mine solely. The larger issue for us was that many people know us both since we went to high school in the same town.
So, if you’re not as fortunate as I was to have a tight crew already, you can be left almost friendless after divorce. Even if you’ve got a group of friends like I did, when I first separated from my ex, I really wanted to meet other people who were either divorced or on the journey like myself. It helps to have that support group. Over time, I met more single parents like myself, which made me feel less alone.

Read More: How My Friendships Feed Me (Literally & Emotionally) After Divorce

Get By With a Little Help From My Friends,

Laura

8 Ways to Shut Down Questions About When Baby No. 2 Is Coming

Don’t you love how people are utterly offended and horrified by the fact that your kid is an only child? I mean, what could possibly be worse than not having a sibling?

Because having siblings is always easy. Your brother is never publicly intoxicated and your sister is completely normal, sane and never yanked your hair like she was pulling weeds, right? Siblings always get along, too! I mean everyone knows that!

Yeah, what sort of demon leaves his or her child to be a lone soul in the world without a sibling around to kick that kid’s ass?

Apparently, having an only child makes other parents consider us parents of only kids, slackers. It’s like we’re all competing in this major parenting Olympics and if you only have one kid, you’re cheating at life and therefore, getting by way too damn easy.

Read More: 8 Ways to Shut Down Questions About When Baby No. 2 Is Coming

None of Their Beeswax,

Laura

What You Thought Motherhood Would Be Like vs. What It’s Actually Like

The funniest thing in the world just might be someone without kids sharing their “wisdom” on how they will be upon becoming a parent. It’s amazing how awesome and well-behaved both you and your kids are in your own little fantasy world of how you’ll parent when you’re not actually a parent, isn’t it?

You think motherhood is going to be one way and that you’ll always get big fat A-pluses on all your motherhood “assignments,” but then reality gives you a beat down like nobody’s business.

BIRTH

Expectation:

You thought you’d go all natural with childbirth.

Reality:

Meanwhile, that birth hurt like a mutha and the anesthesiologist became your BFF. Epidurals FTW.

Read More: What You Thought Motherhood Would Be Like vs. What It’s Actually Like

Reality is a B*tch,

Laura

25 Ways to Make a Working Mom’s Life More Bearable

In honor of Mother’s Day, I thought I might share some things that people—family, friends, spouses, etc.—could do to actually make a working mom’s life easier and more bearable.

People offer help. They mean well. But let’s be honest: Working moms often end up doing everything by ourselves anyway. So instead of gifts (which are lovely and we’ll take them, thank you), try one of the suggestions below to make Mother’s Day really magical for the bone-weary working mom in your life. You can even take it to the next level and implement these year-round …

1. Spend time with us in low-key ways. We’re busy, but we promise we want to see you.

Read More: 25 Ways to Make a Working Mom’s Life More Bearable

Happy Mother’s Day!

Laura

Hard Truths About Motherhood (And Yet, It’s All Still Worth It)

Motherhood is a wonderful privilege but sometimes, it’s also a gritty and thankless job. No one tells you that when you’re pregnant and expecting though. If you did tell an expectant mom that bit of truth, you’d be acting like a party pooper, or a ball buster… and that’s not a good way to be around a hormonal pregnant lady. Unless you feel like getting your eyes stabbed with a fork… a fork dripping with chocolate cake or some other pregnancy craving.

Wink.

The truth is if parenting were easy, we’d all have fifty million children. We’d all be little reproductive machines, but parenting isn’t a walk in the park. Motherhood is beautiful and also a hot mess. But that’s okay because it’s still really worth it.

Yes—even when your child draws on your walls, pukes on you, or slams the door in your face in some teenage rage—it’s still worth it.

1. GET PAID IN PUKE & BOOGERS… WITH NO AWARDS

Here’s a dose of reality for you: you’ll never receive “The Best Mom of the Year” Award because there are no awards ceremonies for moms. At least not official ones.

Read More: Hard Truths About Motherhood (And Yet, It’s All Still Worth It)

Really– It’s Worth it!

Laura

8 Things I Want For Mother’s Day as a Single Mom

When people ask me what I’m doing for Mother’s Day, I usually roll my eyes (on the inside). Of course I’ll celebrate, but Mother’s Day isn’t usually a big celebration when you’re a single mom like I am. My answer is usually something like, “I’m doing what I do every other day — being a mom.”

I’ve been a single parent for four years now, so Mother’s Day doesn’t really have the same effect as it used to. I remember going to the boardwalk with my daughter on my first Mother’s Day after getting a divorce. People came in droves with their kids . . . and partners. I felt very out of place. No one was pointing and saying, “Look at the woman alone with her child on Mother’s Day,” but I still felt alone. I no longer had someone to plan Mother’s Day surprises for me or with my daughter, to take some of the parenting burden off my shoulders for the day, or to shower me with love and affection. It was just me. It is just me.

Our family of two is perfect, and if we end up adding more people along the way, that’s great too. I’ve come so far from the person I once was, and Mother’s Day no longer holds the same sad power over me. Sure, I’d love a day to relax, but I also know that, for now, that’s not how things are, and that’s OK. We don’t and can’t always get what we want, but that doesn’t mean that what we already have isn’t good enough. I cherish my relationship with my daughter, and because I’m a single parent, it means that much more to me. But I do still think about what I want, because no matter what your situation is, you always deserve to be celebrated. Keep reading for eight things I’ll wish for this Mother’s Day while still being perfectly content with what I have.

To All the Single Mom’s: YOU ROCK!
Laura

9 Ways Strong Women Are Better At Relationships Than The Rest Of Us

Strong women handle a relationship differently than women who are just not that strong. And that’s often a good thing and not a bad thing, despite the stereotypes surrounding it. From the first date to the act of commitment, a strong woman has so many feelings and values that dictate how she manages, selects, and opens up to a partner.

All too often, though, people make assumptions about strong women that are false. They’ll say a strong woman is too picky, too cold, or too independent. The list goes on and on. Strength is seen as a barrier to commitment when it really makes her a better and stronger partner. But any real man can appreciate her for these qualities.

So, from one strong woman’s heart and voice, here are 9 things strong women do completely different in relationships than other women who aren’t quite there yet.

1. She can live with or without you.

She doesn’t need you to make her life. Her life is already made. You, as her partner, simply just add to it. Maybe you find that a bit scary. Maybe you worry she’ll get bored of you or won’t need you.

That’s not the case. If she picked you, she picked you, but she knows that her happiness depends on her and not you or anyone else.

Read More: 9 Ways Strong Women Are Better At Relationships Than The Rest Of Us

Strong Enough,

Laura

14 Signs Your Neediness Scares Men Away (And Turns Your Relationships Toxic)

Are you a stage-five clinger? Do you rely on a man for everything? Do you believe that couples should be so close, sharing everything from every second of each other’s time, to telling each other every single thing? Do you schedule things around every guy you have even an inch of feelings for?

You might be a needy, needy Nancy. And neediness is not attractive or healthy.

Wanting someone is healthy and normal. But needing someone in order to sustain your happiness, livelihood or self-esteem is downright toxic. You might not even realize how much your neediness is impacting your ability to have real lasting relationships.

Here are 14 signs your neediness is scaring men away.

1. He often asks you for space.

Things start out great, the chemistry is on point… but then, he asks for space. If this happens more than once or twice, you may be clinging too hard to him.

Sure, there can be other reasons a guy can request space like his inability to be emotionally available or his desire to avoid commitment, but if this happens to you often, you may be clinging too hard.

2. He starts going out with friends all the time.

Couples should certainly spend time separately and with their respective friends. But if a guy starts going out with friends all the time and doesn’t want to spend as much time with you, you might be pushing too hard. It can also mean he’s lost feelings, is cheating, or is avoiding commitment.

Read More: 14 Signs Your Neediness Scares Men Away (And Turns Your Relationships Toxic)

Needy, Needy, Needy,

Laura