It’s Hug A Sexy Nice Guy Day: Don’t Date Douchebags

I recognize this may be an unfair post as there are plenty of chicks who suck, but this time I am writing to address the issues with the men folk. Don’t worry my male followers: I will write a counterpiece about avoiding female freaks as well. I wouldn’t want to upset any of you precious things.

If you are single and dating, there are a few guys you should stay clear away from. It saddens me to have to write this, but some people don’t know a jerk even if he’s got a gun in your back, so I figured that since the internet is so full of useful information, why shouldn’t I help folks out by creating large stereotypes of men to avoid in a list format?

#1 Owes Child Support

If your dude owes child support, he is a twat. There is no excuse on earth why a man should not pay his child support. It is his kid. Whether he wants the child or not, he did the deed, so he’s got to back himself up. Unless he is terminally ill or mentally impaired to a severe degree, he better pay his child support.

Do you want to be his Baby Momma and watch when he doesn’t pay your sorry butt?

Plenty of men dodge child support. Each and every one of them is a douche. Unless a DNA test convicts you of such responsibilities, you better pay the piper Peter.

#2 Cocky Guy

Everyone knows Cocky Guy. He always shows off the newest recent addition to his muscular system.

“Look at this…I’m really cut.”

Cocky Guy likes to brag about all the wonderful things he is doing,  because of course, he’s so fantastic.

Cocky Guy is often good-looking and smart enough to try and pull this garbage, however don’t get caught in his handsome trap. He’s better off with a full-view mirror of himself and his hand.

We all know what he can do with that hand.

Wave Bye-Bye to Cocky Dude.

#3  I’m just Living with my Mother for now…

Some guys deserve to live with their mothers without harassment. If he’s in college, a recent graduate, ill, or caring for his mom, or legitimately saving for a house, then it’s okay for him to shack up with his mom. Besides, the economy is killer lately. However, there are some men who live with their mothers…for forever. They don’t do laundry, they’ve never cooked a meal, and their mothers probably wipe their butts and tie their shoes for them.

His mother will mostly likely have an unhealthy attraction to her son, and will walk around in a mumu and cap on her head all day, following her son around with food requests.

She will most likely call her son a pet name, and will hate you upon sight. She will tie her son up in his bed at night so he doesn’t leave, and cry if he asks to pee alone.

Okay, so some of that is true. You decide what.

If a guy doesn’t want to move out because he lives above his means or has decided that hard work sucks or he will miss his mumsy too much, you need to leave town fast otherwise you will end up tying his shoes and wiping his pee-pee too, sweetheart.

#4 Closeted ( A special section for my gay friends)

If a guy is closeted, you ought to run screaming. Do you really want to sleep with someone who cries afterwards? Or walks by you and denies he knows you?

I’m not saying he needs to be singing Judy Garland or wearing a pink feather boa, but he should be comfortable and aware of his own sexuality. You are with yours, so why do you need to coax someone out of his shell? The best arrangement here is to be his friend until he has accepted himself.

** Ladies, if you suspect a guy is gay, you need to realize that your equipment won’t cut it. After awhile, he is going to be unhappy, and unless you feel like wearing a strap-on, he won’t fall for you. Become his friend and enjoy that!

#5 Arrogant Prick

We all know Arrogant Prick. He is different from Cocky Guy; Cocky Guy is usually more bold, foolish, and vain. Arrogant Prick is quietly mean and disdainful of everyone who doesn’t measure up to his insane standards. Apparently, we all lost the memo that he’s God, and the rest of us are just the bitches doing his dirty work.

Arrogant Prick will always point out your friends’ and family’s flaws, all the while silently tsk-tsking you. He has ideas about what you should do, be, and look like, and all of this will run contrary to your own desires about how you should live. He is a pompous ass and most likely small in the pants. In which case, you should doubly run.

I thank you all for taking the time to read with me on this serious matter. Too many women and men fall for scumbags when they could be giving a nice guy a chance. Let’s all do our part to severely beat these jerks, and champion the men with dignity, class, and respect.

Hug a sexy nice guy today in honor of “Hug a Sexy Nice Guy” day.

They need love too.




2 thoughts on “It’s Hug A Sexy Nice Guy Day: Don’t Date Douchebags

  1. Corvidae in the Fields says:


    All good points, but I must point out that the “nice guy” is to be approached with caution. Of all the people I’ve met in this world, I can count the number of “nice” guys on my hands. Altruistic, honest, happy to see anyone no matter how many clouds are hanging around. There really aren’t that many. Humans aren’t always “nice,” but they can be virtuous more often than not. I’m not suggesting a wholesale dismissal of the idea, rather watch your step, ladies.

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