Needy Girl: Never fear, Needy Girl is here! She’s here to smother you and affirm your every move

In Uncategorized on May 23, 2013 at 5:38 pm

Yesterday I spoke of the few male types to avoid, but today I come back to you all with a close look at Needy Girl!

Is it a plane or a bird? Is it your own shadow or a figment of your imagination?

No, it’s Needy Girl! Needy Girl is there wherever you are. She wants to hold your hand, wipe your mouth, hug you close, and squeeze you all over! Needy Girl is not complete unless you have acknowledged her wishes to devour your every minute with her presence.

Needy Girl isn’t mean, but she’s totally occupied by everything you do. She thinks you’re super, terrific, wonderful, grr-eat! She will cheerlead you on at all times.

In most ways, she is a lovely girl and incredibly loyal.

In other ways, she is ingratiating and uncompromising. She must be with you at all times.

If you don’t tell her how your bowel movement went, or whether or not you scratched your genitals that day, she will feel you don’t love her.

You will be charmed by her at first, and then you will find yourself daydreaming about how you can launch yourself over the Brooklyn Bridge to escape her for all eternity. Even then, she might find you. She might even jump off after you, determined to see you on the other side and watch your every move there.

If you accidentally fall for Needy Girl, here are some steps to convert her:

Help her find a hobby.

She is bored and needs something to do.

Introduce her to one of your better looking friends. You know you’ve got one. You’re not all that and a handful of dollars.

Send her to a shrink.

She’s a good person with low self-esteem. If therapy doesn’t work, maybe a month in a hospital will.

Don’t ignore her. Ignoring her will make her come on stronger. Tell her you like her but find her to be suffocating. Often Needy Girl will not realize she’s being this way because her perspective of herself is so low, that she just can’t understand why someone wouldn’t want so much attention…that she herself is dying for.

If none of this works, start stalking her, and then she will get scared and run like her.


From a retired-semi-Needy Girl

  1. “If you accidentally fall for Needy Girl . . .”

    Consider moving to another country 😆

  2. Thank you for sharing your info. I truly appreciate your efforts and I am waiting for
    your next write ups thanks once again.

  3. Hi there! I could have sworn I’ve been to this web site before but after
    browsing through a few of the posts I realized it’s new to me.
    Regardless, I’m definitely delighted I found it and I’ll be book-marking it and checking back

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