Wear a Bra Women and cover up! When old ladies go bare…and others bare too much.

In Uncategorized on June 25, 2013 at 6:09 pm

Yesterday as I food shopped for cantaloupes in suburbia, I saw more tits than a male prostitute.

I was greeted as I pushed my shopping cart in by a pair of the hangy-est and largest bra free boobs. The old lady strolled by in her flower-print top, and I couldn’t help but look. Then, as I went into the produce aisle, a woman with the most humongous breasts known in the state of NJ, greeted me. In fact, she almost ran into me. Not with her boobs, but with her cart. She had a low cut shirt because, even a turtleneck would have drooped with those dangling, but her shirt happened to be low cut in reality. I almost saw nipple. I couldn’t help but stare. I felt like a 12 year old boy.

Look, I am not as big, but I wear a difficult size. Small band, big cup. When I was pregnant, I wore a 34 G or H…so you catch the drift. I would surprise you. I was tortured over my breasts as a kid. I have a hard time finding clothes that fit the shoulders and tummy…and the boobs. Button down shirts are not my friends. However, despite the 70 dollar price tag or more that I face when buying a bra, it’s a necessity, unless I want to attract bad men.

I know that some people say wearing a bra is bad for you and that hell, they are kind of uncomfortable, but really, there is only so much titties I want to see in a day.

I guess when I am old dragging my dogs, cats, and junk around in a cart with my hot pink lipstick and flower print dress, I may forgo the bra, but these women were young enough to not have dementia yet.

The other thing that grabs me is, I had a near panic attack wearing a bikini for the first time after having a baby. I am in good shape, but am very critical of myself. I panicked and hoped I would look okay.

Then I got to the beach.

Then I wondered why I ever worried.

Listen, I know I am a small woman. I won’t share my size. I know I have no room to talk. I totally think women are gorgeous curvy and delightful…you can be a  size 12 and be beautiful…you don’t need to be a tiny skinny twit. Curves are fantastic. However, some people think mounds of fat means curves, and they show everything. Everything.

I believe I saw a vagina…and it wasn’t mine.

Embrace yourself. Love your body. Don’t believe the hype. Skinny girls are cold too often. We always shiver. It’s not sexy. Thank god for boobs, or I might pass for a little boy.

I kid.

But seriously folks, love your body. Fuck the media and its dialogue that women should be rail-thin, but at the same time, if you’re a really big woman, and by big I mean two zip codes, please wear something that doesn’t show your vaginal lips or rolls.

I guess part of me admires people that don’t care if they’re fat or not and wear what they want, but the mean part of me says, hell to the no. I wouldn’t even wear that stuff. Models don’t wear that stuff.

Maybe you all think I am a pretentious jerk, but the only vagina I want to see is my own, thanks.


A concerned citizen, bra-fan, and self-critical little gnat

PS. No one laughed at me in my bikini. If you are a mom, you know that made me very happy. I even got a few looks. Sure the looks were from old men, but I will take it.

  1. hahaha. funny. good read

  2. Heh, I guess I’ll put on my bra when I go out shopping next time, in case (but probably highly unlikely) you may happen to run into me at a supermarket, fellow NJ-ian.

  3. It’s a boob!Get over it!……..Don’t ever visit Ashland,OR. our women go topless in public!LOL

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