frommtvtomommy

Let He Who Cast the First Stone: I hate hypocrites.

In Uncategorized on July 14, 2013 at 8:16 pm

I usually don’t delve into this sort of topic, but I was upset recently by the fact that a part of my extended family shall we say, does not like me because of my past.

My past meaning, a time in which I let men treat me like their object after a series of crazy bad events. Note, my past doesn’t involve hurting others or doing crack, or selling babies, or performing illegal abortions. I just let people treat me poorly, men really.

Now mind you, I understand that this person wouldn’t really like these things because it’s sad for me to know I once was down that path, but this person claims to be RELIGIOUS!

This person prays for our country and goes to church when he or she feels like it, yet I am a pariah. I, who truly am a good mother, friend, and person, am a pariah.

I can’t change this person, but I can say it bothers me that some of the first things this person goes to do—pray for our country, pray for others, carry tokens of saints around–is also the same person to cast the  first stone when it comes to my flaws.

This person is the first person to NOT extend his or her hand when I need it, despite his or her commitment to Christian ideology.

Look, I am not religious clearly, but I have some wonderful friends who are, and when they tell me they are praying for me…I believe them and appreciate their thoughts and love. What I cannot stand is some person holding me metaphorically by the throat for a past that doesn’t involve them or involve the harming of others, (only my self-esteem) while holding another hand on the bible.

News Flash: I have read the New Testament…drum roll, please.. 5 times all the way through. Yup, and nowhere in there doers it say to judge others. I believe most of the book is about doing just the opposite. In fact, another person in my extended family basically accused me of having no morals because I’m non-practicing…and was raised Jewish, essentially. This “Christian” didn’t realize that the Ten Commandments are also part of Judaism. Yeah, crazy right?

We all have our own roads to follow. I’m not perfect, nor do I claim to be, but I also don’t claim to be part of some religious group and then blatantly refuse to follow that religion’s core tenets.

Own your own garbage, and live up to your words.

Practice what you preach.

I may not be religious, but I do have morals.

Moral #1–I try to treat people with respect and decency. If someone doesn’t show that to me, the game changes.

Moral #2–I believe in causing no harm.

Moral #3–I don’t believe that my beliefs or values are better than anyone else’s, although at times I may feel I am in the right, and in that I am flawed and human.

Not really all that different or terrible is it?

I don’t need to follow the head of some organization to have values, morals, and beliefs.

I follow with my heart, think with my head (mostly), and move along.

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  1. What I have trouble understanding in its entirety is he or she not liking you for men treating you poorly. Wouldn’t these men deserve the hatred more for being abusive, manipulative, or otherwise womanizing? That would be my reaction.

    I guess that part doesn’t make sense to me. It seems like misplaced anger or a red herring to cover more unacceptable reasons.

    • Yes this person should focus on that, but the person focuses instead on how I let myself be treated certain ways and made bad choices for myself, all way in the past. None of the person’s business. I do agree. There is a lot of misplaced anger! You get it my friend!!

  2. I’m with you, Sister. And I’m happy you stopped letting men mistreat you.

    • Thank you 🙂 It took work considering I had some bad experiences that shaped my self-esteem in a rough way, but I am doing my best. 🙂

      • Point is, you can see it for what it was. That deserves accolades. I admire you for being able to look upon it and know you never want to go back there. Doesn’t mean your self-esteem is fully recovered. Just means your self-respect is.

  3. I totally agree with you !

    I’m an atheist – but despite that, I think most (if not all) people who know me would regard me as a ‘good’ person who never knowingly hurts others, and who goes out of my way to provide help where it is needed

    [you’re right – one doesn’t need a set of religious beliefs to know what is right and wrong and to treat people as you would like them to treat you]

    I think one of the problems overly devout believers in a supreme being (god) have – is that their God is generally thought to be kind, loving, forgiving etc

    How then to reconcile this ‘all round ‘good’ guy (or girl)’ with all the pain and suffering people experience in their life?

    Their answer as to why their God allows famines, wars, earthquakes, rape, torture, etc seems to be that the victims brought it on themselves. Their loving God would not allow such things to happen to ‘innocent’ people so the victims must have done something to deserve his wrath/punishment

    Your relative who has such a down on you for your past sounds like he (or she) falls into this category of devout believer (otherwise known as ‘assholes’)

    No doubt they concur with the likes of Pat Robertson when he explains their God allows some natural catastrophes to cause injury and death to so many people because he (or she) is offended by their sexual activities

    [as if a supreme deity had no better things to occupy his (or her) time than to worry about who is shagging who] 🙄

    Don’t let these relatives get you down

    Stay strong

    You are a better person than he (or she) is !

    • Thank you!! If it didn’t cause such family drama, I would be less upset, but it is hard. I used to cling to the small moments when the person would be nice, and then get so disappointed when the person went back to the usual crap. Now I have zero expectations.

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