Hi, I’m a “drive the bus”-aholic.
No,I’m not a bus-driver. You damn well would not want me to ever drive a bus or anything larger than a four-door car because I’m spatially challenged, short, and hate big cars.
What I mean is, I am the kind of person that will keep trying to make things work even if I am in a situation with another person who doesn’t seem to want to.
I just keep trying.
I think I can, I think I can, I think this. Freaking. Sucks.
I cannot solve the world’s problems in a day, or even ten years. I cannot make something happen all on my own whether it is a friendship, relationship, or working situation. I always feel that somehow, the answer and solution lies in me.
I’m not only not that special, but I cannot control other people.
I cannot make the horse drink the specially-filtered water I brought for her.
I can only bring the horse the nice water, and then walk away.
This is when I fail. I truly believe if only I do everything right or keep trying, that it will go my way.
This is charming when it comes to pursuing a dream or not giving up on giving good oral, or continuing to be patient with my kid, but when it comes to relationships, it isn’t cute.
It is draining. It is draining, unsatisfying, and humiliating at times, when you are the one going, “Rah-rah, sush-koom-baa!” and the other party in the scenario is looking at paint dry.
If you find yourself like me, feel comfort that you’re not the only one who tries so hard, only to feel like you’re steering the boat alone.
There is something to be said in walking away sometimes.