frommtvtomommy

Mom in the Mirror

In mental health, motherhood, parenthood, Uncategorized, woman on October 20, 2013 at 1:44 am

Dear Mom in the Mirror:

You didn’t make anything homemade today.

All you do was heat up leftovers, slacker.

Your kid was bad in the store today, so you had to withdraw a privilege, and now you feel like crap.

You know it had to be done, but you work so much Mom, that when you have to be Bad Cop, which it always seems that that role is on you, it hurts.

Shouldn’t you have predicted your kid would act out? Shouldn’t you have known Mom?

What are you doing wrong to make your kid act so out of character?

Are you a bad Mom, mom?

You work a lot.

Other people care for your child daily so you can make a paycheck that doesn’t seem to ever cover everything.

How present can you really be Mom, if you’re gone all the time?

Mom, you didn’t leave a note in your child’s lunchbox today. You forgot, which you know, means you don’t love your kid as much, or that you’re just lazy.

Mom, you wanted a manicure, which was pretty selfish of you, considering you had to bring your kid with you. Don’t you know you’re supposed to do that on your own time?

But wait, are you telling me that you don’t have your own time? Well then obviously you’re doing something really wrong. Clearly, you should have made different life choices so you wouldn’t always be busy.

Or clearly you should stop wanting to do something for yourself, you selfish woman.

Mom, did you look at yourself in the mirror, again?

Yeah, you don’t look so good.

You look tired. Old.

You feel unwanted. Unloved.

You look pretty, and still attractive.

You are sexy and still fully-blooded. Wanted.

You don’t want to fade away.

You’re not supposed to worry about what you wear or do anymore. Only good Moms sacrifice themselves so their kids can have everything and you can be a big fat nothing.

At least, that’s what the world tells you Mom. Wanting to be yourself and have a “self” is pretty damn selfish Mom.

Last week Mom?

I heard you yell at your kid. Yeah, that’s right. You did. You lost your patience. It wasn’t pretty. If you could have heard yourself, which you should have since you were loud enough, you would have been embarrassed.

You really ought to chill out Mom.

Mom, you also need to back off. When other kids get annoying, pushy, or crowd your kid’s space in a public area, you probably shouldn’t tell them to back off. Isn’t it the other Mom’s job to just do something?

Okay, so they don’t do anything Mom. I hear you.

Mom, why don’t you have more kids. You must not be a real mothering type Mom, if you don’t have at least two kids. Besides Mom, we all know that the real nurturing women are the ones with more than two. You can’t handle it? Sounds like you’re not a very good Mom, mom, or maybe even not a good women.

Your pregnancies sucked and were dangerous. You want a career. Sounds like a bunch of excuses to me, Mom. Pretty pathetic Mom.

But yes the strangers tell you, your child must have a sibling Mom. How will they ever go on without one?

You didn’t mean to do it Mom, but you did it again.

You know what I mean, when you give in a bit when you should have stuck to your guns? Now your kid is testing you every second of the day.

Mom. You need to be perfect. You cannot fuck up, and you must certainly not complain. Don’t you see the other mothers around you?

They’re perfect.

They’re perfectly wondering if they’re doing a good job too. If their choices are the right ones. If they should be working, home, wealthier, healthier, prettier. If they should be homeschooling  or not. If they should vaccinate or not. If they know what they are doing is truly the right thing for their kids.

Mom in the mirror.

It’s going to be okay.

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  1. Wow… that’s a good insight into your thoughts…. thanks for sharing. You know what though? The entire time I’m reading this, feeling your conflicts, I can only imagine how despite what you think of yourself, your kids must ADORE you for the sacrifices you make for them… whether big or small, and how they could not see themselves with anyone better than you for their mom. 🙂 Be proud, it sounds like in reality you’re a GREAT mom!

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