New Year’s Resolutions Are Mostly Bull Shit.

In humor, life on December 30, 2013 at 7:35 pm

So for the most part, New Year’s Resolutions are total bull shit. I am not going to suddenly become patient or decide to become one with a greater power, unless that greater power  belongs in one of these four categories: 19th century literature, battery-operated toys, Godiva chocolate, or rock star.

I probably am still going to be anxious. Still gonna smile too much at strangersseriously, the other day when I was out with a friend, a creepy old man tried to offer me candy. Two pieces to be exact. I kid not.

And I am still probably going to say what I think before I’ve had the chance to decide if I should or not.

However, there are a few resolutions I have decided to keep:

#1-small expenses

I’m trying to watch the little things—like small purchases made. Do I really need them? Being pennywise is always in fashion my friends.

#2-query publishers for my book and get it out there

This is obviously a fantastic resolution. Getting this finished memoir in the hands of the insane American public who can then decide that I am a wackadoo, would be the best thing to happen to me, second to my daughter.

#3 more freelance and comedy

Additional outlets for my madness are imperative. Besides, I am tired of talking to myself, and I could use more work= money for my daughter’s future dowry.

I joke. No one, and I mean no one gets to marry my kid unless they’re already rich with personality and pizazz anyway.

#4 break out the leotards

I need to do something else–something different in my workout. I’ve got great glutes, but hell, I am bored, and a bored woman is a dangerous woman.

Want more snazzy New Year’s Resolutions ideas? Read an article by moi, in

And because you like me, no, you love me,  you will stalk me here.

  1. You make me laugh with your pointed comments. But do not change and do have a Very Happy New Year (2014). Larry

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