So for the most part, New Year’s Resolutions are total bull shit. I am not going to suddenly become patient or decide to become one with a greater power, unless that greater power  belongs in one of these four categories: 19th century literature, battery-operated toys, Godiva chocolate, or rock star.

I probably am still going to be anxious. Still gonna smile too much at strangers—seriously, the other day when I was out with a friend, a creepy old man tried to offer me candy. Two pieces to be exact. I kid not.

And I am still probably going to say what I think before I’ve had the chance to decide if I should or not.

However, there are a few resolutions I have decided to keep:

#1-small expenses

I’m trying to watch the little things—like small purchases made. Do I really need them? Being pennywise is always in fashion my friends.

#2-query publishers for my book and get it out there

This is obviously a fantastic resolution. Getting this finished memoir in the hands of the insane American public who can then decide that I am a wackadoo, would be the best thing to happen to me, second to my daughter.

#3 more freelance and comedy

Additional outlets for my madness are imperative. Besides, I am tired of talking to myself, and I could use more work= money for my daughter’s future dowry.

I joke. No one, and I mean no one gets to marry my kid unless they’re already rich with personality and pizazz anyway.

#4 break out the leotards

I need to do something else–something different in my workout. I’ve got great glutes, but hell, I am bored, and a bored woman is a dangerous woman.

Want more snazzy New Year’s Resolutions ideas? Read an article by moi, in studentrate.com.

And because you like me, no, you love me,  you will stalk me here.