frommtvtomommy

My Husband Won’t Have Sex With Me: 5 Reasons Why Your Husband Won’t Bang You

In marriage, men, sex, women on January 5, 2014 at 2:57 am

I know that this sounds like a total lie, but some men won’t bang their wives.You may be laughing right now, but it is indeed, true.

Do some googling. Male sex drive isn’t as “golden” and high-geared as the rumor mill would like you to believe. Here are some reasons why your husband may not be banging you.

Note: I’m not a therapist, so don’t think of my word as “bond” to quote old-school 80’s hip-hop, but think of my word as a guide for “next steps,” mainly, buying a vibrator and possibly hiring a private investigator.

No Thanks Honey

Your husband may be saying no to a romp because he’s depressed. Depression can kill a sex drive. Why would he be depressed? Who knows? His job performance. Weight. Hormonal imbalance. Fighting with you. Money. Depression can kill a sex drive. If you think this is it, sit him down and talk to him. Now.

Before it gets worse and the two of you have become roommates.

Money Money Money Money….MONEY

If there are money issues, stress will kill that erection in a heartbeat, especially if you are arguing over it. Killing sex is always a bad thing, but if money is the culprit, you guys need to sit down and have a little face-to-face on how to iron out (if possible) your financial woes before your sex life officially dies for good.

Someone Else is Banging Him

Sorry to add, but there is always the chance that he is getting it from someone else, especially if your once hornball husband is now an ice cold nun around you. If this is your suspicion, think it through before confronting him. Maybe you’re being paranoid, or maybe he truly is getting head from your next-door neighbor.

Low Self-Esteem

If he is feeling like a loser because of his job or weight or balding patches, he might just put an end to all things sexy and good, or he may try to find another woman to make his ego feel better.

Give him some prozac and the number of a good shrink, or just start buffing up his tender ego. It could work.

Not Attracted

I said it in my post on “why your wife won’t bang you”: weight gain can be downers for both parties. Maybe he feels like you’ve let yourself go. Maybe he feels as if you’re not trying to be sexy. It might even be the fact that he feels as if the two of you as a unit has dwindled as kids entered the picture. While kids should be the center of attention, it’s not wise to ignore your identity as a couple. If he feels you’re ignoring this aspect, he will start to sexually and emotionally withdraw.

On The Other Side

It’s possible he might be gay. Maybe he just likes men. He doesn’t have to be writing an opera at the dining room table to be gay, but if this is suspect, it’s time you two went clothes shopping and had a heart-to-heart about coming out of the closet.

You’re a Bitch

You make him feel like shit and therefore, he doesn’t want to be around you. You pick at him. You’re unhappy. You bring him down. This deflates a hard-on faster than you can say, “Guess what? You’re the Daddy.”

Start being a little nicer, pub-lease.

Scientific Studies Say:

If a guy is not into sex, it can feel really awkward for the female because we have been told that men love fucking since we were, I don’t know, about 3 years-old? We were warned all men were perverts and would look up our skirts and now look, we have someone who doesn’t want it. It can be hard to talk about and very isolating. You can start to feel like you’re the problem, but in most cases, you are not the sole culprit.

While nursing your ego, use a vibrator, but seek out the cause pronto.

A good penis is a terrible thing to waste. Reconnect with your husband if it is possible.

With Battery-Operated Power,

Laura

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  1. […] serious reflection and my version of “My Husband Won’t Bang Me,” I decided to give men a few more reasons why a wife won’t […]

  2. This is really good. I read some thing like this and am reminded how fragile egos and relationships both are. It doesn’t take much to get in a bad place yourself (I totally agree that low self esteem can be a total bonner killer) or for a relationship to get in a bad place. I think the tough part is to own it, be honest about the reasons and be humble enough to work on them – all tough stuff.

    • It is way too easy for relationships to go south. They’re work, in my opinion, and not always fun LOL!
      Owning it is crucial…when people don’t, that is where half of the problems start, in my own opinion.

  3. Yes all that but a lot of times, it is just us. Sometimes it takes awhile our issues and I agree, talk when you both are ready otherwise he will feel threatened. Life is complicated and we tend to overthink and over worry and that just makes us depressed too.

  4. […] is a sign of power and maturity. It is a sign of growth. Maybe you won’t forget the time your husband banged his secretary or the time your wife ran away with the gardener, but forgiving and shutting that part out of your […]

  5. […] you are timid to ask a partner for more sex or less sex currently, don’t think this timidity will serve you well while married. Be able to talk and […]

  6. […] your husband doesn’t want to have sex with you, or your wife, there’s definitely a […]

  7. […] Perel, suggests in her book Mating In Captivity that sometimes, a female partner may mistake a husband’s desire for sex as just some empty throbbing need to get off when the reality is, wanting to have sex with a partner […]

  8. […] if your husband doesn’t want to have sex with you? Well that is a whole other story. There is this myth that men want it all the time, and women […]

  9. […] want a divorce, be an attentive and loving partner. Work on yourself. Work on your commitment. Have sex and intimate moments. Listen. Forgive […]

  10. My husband is gay ..went for years with hardly any sex.he looked at gay porn constantly. It ead BaD on me .I felt I was the problem .my self esteem was in the tolit. I felt undesirable as a woman. The best thing you can do is get out of the msrrage . still dealing with problems 5 yrs out ..getting better

  11. […] are learning experiences. Take the answers you got from your last relationship–whether about sexual relations, arguments, living scenarios, or more, and find a better […]

  12. […] Here are my rules of sex. How to keep it from becoming staid or becoming so crazy. that you might as well have sister wives or multiple husbands: […]

  13. We’ll you are the only one nailing it for me.

  14. Lisa, my husband goes 3 to 6 months without having sex with me. We have been together for 8 years but married only 6 months. What do you think?

    • Frommtvtomommy.com

      Didn’t mean to address that to Lisa. It was meant for you.
      Thanks

    • I think you should talk to him about what your sexual needs are in the relationship, and ask what his are. You could also ask if he’s stressed…sad…etc. He may be depressed…or something may be up. Good luck!

  15. I have not had sex in 7years, my husband says that he is not into it, and he said that he’s now 52,and I am really ugly, so yeah, we have teens and I am really jealous that they get to have a happy life while mine is/has been lonely forever

    • Doesn’t sound like a nice husband to call you ugly…I hope you consider finding someone whois good to you!

    • I understand completely. It hasn’t been 7 years, but it has been a year and 1 month since me and my husband had sex. Thoughts go through my mind all the time. But if I try to sit down and talk to him, I’m being the bitch! I know he’s been depressed and dealing with some other issues, but deep down I feel there is something else going on.

  16. All that maybe true but he won’t talk about it at all face to face. I try to understand and I do know how to use “toys” but it’s not the same. I’m at a lose. 😦

  17. Me and my husband been married for almost four years now he isn’t stressed are depressed but he want have sex with me I have three kids and by the looks of my body no one can tell I have kids I always been the same size since day one he goes to work come home late smelling like he fell head first inside a car fresher bucket he don’t talk to me only about work then he play’s video games all night into I go to sleep first are I will make the first move but he always turn me down then early mornings we have sex something but he is always behind me I try doing different things but it’s not working what should I do I am so lost and hurt cause he done got caught cheating on me so many times I lost count someone please help me with this

  18. You left out something that has become a very big, very real problem. Addiction to porn. More and more men are sexually neglecting their wives in favor of spending countless hours searching for, looking at, and masturbating to online pornography.

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