frommtvtomommy

Goldilocks is hungry and wants to break your chair: Coming out of the closet

In humor, life, mental health, motherhood, work on January 13, 2014 at 10:49 pm

This isn’t a claim of my lesbianism, although I love the lesbians of course and people of all sexual persuasions, but this is my admission: I am depressed.

Goldilocks is tired of ransacking people’s (bears) homes by herself and causing general chaos, only to have to run in another direction once a Grizzly comes to eat her.

I know I’m supposed to be funny and witty and brilliant, but right now I feel like locking myself in a closet, never to return. Why can’t someone entertain me while I stuff truffles down my throat and get my feet rubbed? Why isn’t that a part of adult life?

It’s not just that the temperature is not “just right” outside, although the whole ho-hum winter time after the insane holidays certainly doesn’t help.

I also suspect that part of my issue is health-related. Lately I have been hungry like a fiend. I am beginning to think I am a 300lb football player in a miniature body.

I am finding that daily life is so dull, yet when I was with my daughter all the time, every day felt like an adventure. I guess maybe I am just heartbroken over many things, one of which is that I miss my daughter terribly and hate never seeing her with my 5 hour daily commute and schedule.

I feel like the worst mother in the world because I am stressed a lot, and was not this stressed when I worked part-time.

We were supposed to move closer to my job, and now that may not even happen.

Wah wah wah.

Nobody loves me. Everybody hates me. I’m gonna go eat…

3 boxes of Godiva chocolate. Did it already.

Maybe it’s that my life is lacking all the fun crazy stuff that an energetic woman like me needs.

Maybe Goldilocks just needs to find a Bear to tear a house up with.

Or maybe I need to stand outside in my underwear, simply to shock people. Climb a tower and scream, Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair.  Eat a whole pizza in five minutes. Puke on someone’s shoes. Flash someone at work. Run down Park Avenue in Manhattan yelling, “Godzilla is coming!” Go to a swing club and yell, “Wow, everyone is naked! I’m telling your parents.”

Stand on the Brooklyn Bridge with a sign that says, “Should I jump? Honk if you think yes.”

Or, hold a sign up and stand in front of Port Authority. The sign should say, “Nice Blonde free to loving warm home.”

Do you think anyone would adopt me?

Signed,

The Irish-Jewish Goldilocks. No porridge, just chocolate.

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  1. just my two cents… but you are an absolutely vivacious person with no time to express it and it seems to be killing what makes you you, You need to lose the commute and find more chances to indulge in happy things

    • I agree but right now, it’s hard to explain in a comment, but I can’t just walk away from my job. I appreciate the thought though, because I would say you’re right that it’s hard on me. We need a message pow-wow!

  2. Well Mommy-locks I get the depression thing but I do think you need to taste the porridge.
    And you mention positions the other day so part of the mystery is solved. Nothing like depression though. What a fun thing. I mean if you have Major Depressive Disorder and Severe General Anxiety Disorder you want to sleep but feel guilty when you do. Thank God my cat loves to love on me. Steady and reliable.

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