frommtvtomommy

4 Reasons Why Staying at a Mental Home is Easier Than Being a Working Mother

In humor, life, memoir, mental health, motherhood on January 15, 2014 at 6:27 pm

4 Reasons Why Staying at a Mental Home is Easier Than Being a Working Mother

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When I was a teenager, I had a brief month-long stay at a psychiatric treatment center. I was depressed, experienced rape and abuse, and was “experimenting” with substances to medicate those terrible experiences. It was no joke, and to be honest, I don’t think these hospitals helped at all. For me, it was just a month-long babysitter and didn’t do zilch. Of course, I wasn’t ready to deal with those problems really so maybe that was why, but the point is…

If you are a working mother, you might want to consider visiting the mental home. Life is easier there.

Here’s why:

1- Forget Disapppointing Your Employer and Child

Instead of disappointing your employer or child, which is what happens when you’re a working mother. You don’t stay late enough. Kid is out sick. Employer is pissed. You never see your kid. You can’t sit there and prepare these insane culinary delights that SAHM’s can do. Your kid is pissed.

When you’re in the mental home, no one can be pissed at you. In fact, they’ll feel bad for you, and possibly guilty for making you feel less then.

Oh, and then you can disappoint everyone all at once. Way more satisfying.

2.—Arts and Crafts That Make the Pinterest and DIY Moms Drool

Okay, so for whatever reason, arts and crafts therapy abound in the mental health field. Truthfully, my life’s problems weren’t solved by drawing the “animal” I felt I represented, but I will say that it was a hell of a lot more fun than group therapy, in which some of the stories made me wonder, “Why the fuck am I here, anyway?”

Plus, now you can keep up with all those DIY-mommies who broadcast all the arts and projects that they do with their kids while they’re home all over Facebook.

Look! See! Now I too, can share my arts and crafts on Facebook. You know, instead of feeling like shit because you’re working a job, and not spending quality time with your kid.

3-Never Forget

As a working mom, you’ve got to remember your job, your job at home, as well as police and instruct the 1 or 8 people caring for your child. It is hard to remember stuff when you are busy multitasking.

Now at the mental home, they remember it all for you. Hey patient, it’s time to take your meds or, it’s 3pm recreation time folks. Break out the ping-pong tables. You don’t need to multitask. Hell, you don’t need to do much of anything.

Plus, everyone else cooks for you. Any mom can relate to that joy!

4-No Getting Ready

Mental Homes, or the proper word is psychiatric hospitals or psychiatric treatment facilities, are pretty strict with letting patients have basic grooming tools. When I went, they took my nail files from me, and I had to sign them out. Who knew Revlon could be lethal? Suicide via hang nail?

In any case, instead of rushing out the door each day while begging your kid to get in the car or to just give you a measly hug so your day can feel a little brighter, you don’t need to get ready. Getting permission to shave is a bitch. Hell, you might as well just stick to the basic shower. Getting ready in the psych joint is simple. No rushing here.

The Finale:

I hope none of you end up so depressed, addicted, or mentally ill that you need to go to a hospital. I am certainly not trying to downplay the experience. In fact, I hope you’ll all buy my memoir, almost fully edited, and read my journey there. Or follow me on Twitter, or “like” me on Facebook.

You wouldn’t want to upset me and make me end up in the psych ward now, would you?

Kisses and Xanax,

Laura

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  1. […] Then, people–women got pissed because of my post titled, Why being in a mental home is easier than being a working mom. […]

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