When I was a teacher, (assisted in a preschool class, kindergarten class, second grade class, SAT prep, taught Pre-K, and tutored ages 3- adult) I was not yet a parent. It was amazing how wise I thought I was about the ways of children.
Little did I know that I was just a mere fool in this world known as parenting. Not that I wasn’t a good teacher–I certainly was, but to the parents I judged when I was teacher and not yet a mom, gulp, I’m sorry man.
What’s with that kid’s clothes?
As parents dropped their kids off, I sometimes (okay, more than sometimes) thought, ‘What the f#@k were these parents thinking when they let their kids walk in like this? I mean, you can’t battle everything, but still. Jeez.”
Years later, here I am bringing my kid to school in the polar vortex in party shoes. You see, I told my daughter she had to wear her boots a few times.
“UMMM- No! I want to wear my brown party shoes. No boots. I am not wearing boots Mommy. I told you this already.”
I plead, because you know, it’s like 10 degrees out, but alas, I choose my battles and let her go to school as such.
When her grandfather drops her off later he says, “Why isn’t she wearing her boots?”
I wanted to scream.
I hang my head in judgment.
No Toys or Dolls
What the f#@k, I’d think, as the parent dropped off the kid who has a bunch of toys or dolls in her arms. They know my rule, don’t they? Leave that at home! Bring one stuffed toy for nap time.
Here I was, the toy-Nazi, angry at the disruption. For mostly good reason: toys get lost or damaged and the kid gets upset…I don’t want to deal with that. Or worse, they don’t want to share and a fight breaks out.
Years later, here I am, with my daughter and the whole freaking DIsney Princess gang is in her lap on the way to, you guessed it, school.
Because you know, Princess Tiana couldn’t go to school without Cinderella, Jasmine, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, etc, etc, etc
Because if they didn’t go to school with my daughter, she would have a melt down, which would mean I am late for work, and stressed, and on the verge of a nervousfuckingbreakdown.
The dolls come!
How Could You Forget?
It’s the holiday party–show and share–insert big activity planned for little ones at school.
When parents forgot often, I sat there like, “Lazy bitches. How can they keep forgetting these activities? What the hell?”
And some of them did suck, but you know what?
Guess who didn’t bring a little Halloween or Christmas party goodie bag? (I did contribute munchkins thankyouverymuch)
Because I’m busy. Because the second time, I fucking forgot.
I just said the F word again.
But dammit, I always remember party treats, school events, and show and share (mostly).
Get Him or Her Under Control
When I taught, I had a 4 year old who was 4 feet tall. I’m a little over 5 feet. The kid tried to choke me. He had issues. I wonder what happened to him?
Anywhoo, for the rest of the kids, they were just normal kids who had temper tantrums. And the parents gave in. After I said, ‘Such and Such had a bad day,” I found out the next day, the little rat bastard still got a special treat after school. Or the parents could barely get their temper-tantruming kid out the door.
No discpline, I thought. Lazy parenting.
Why are these parents sabotaging the good work I do here? What the F word?
And yes. Some of them did indeed, kinda suck. Yeah judgy, but there were a few. For the most part, these parents just wanted a smooth car ride home. A nice night. Positive time with the child they barely saw.
And who was the mom who gave the temper-tantrum-esque daughter a cookie the other day out of guilt?
I rest my case.
To the parents I judged as a teacher before I was a parent, I am sorry. What did I know? I had an empty womb, experience, and a brain that said I knew I was right. I hope you forgive me.
Besides, I was a damn good teacher.
Love, apples, princesses, and cookies with hot chocolate,