Women are mysterious and complicated.
Some people say we are crazy, but I just think you’ve been reading your Women manual incorrectly. There are quite a few illiterate people out there, so this is entirely possible. Or perhaps, your manual is written in the incorrect language.
Let me give you a few simple pointers that even a dog could correctly adhere to.
Oh wait, dogs can’t read.
You get the drift.
Does She Hate You?
If she doesn’t hate you, you have a chance. At least, a small chance.
When she talks to you, does she speak in brief snippets? Like whatever. Okay. Sure. Uh-huh. It doesn’t matter?
She definitely does not like you, and may actually, hate you.
Looks at You
Does she make a lot of eye contact at you–and not at your terrible outfit, best friend, or clunker of a car?
She may like you.
Is she moody? This is par for the course. Unless she’s telling you she loves you, and then calling you from a bridge saying she’s about to jump off, chances are she’s normal, and might like you.
Does she touch you? And not in the, please move out of the way kind of touch, but in the touch the “leg, thigh,shoulder, arm,face” kind of touch?
Is she playing with her hair?
She might indeed, like you.
Does she only ask you to take her places? Have you spent an excessive amount of money on her, yet had no real intimate contact or conversation or commitment from her?
Then she only likes your wallet.
But Your Friend
If she talks about your friend a lot, she wants to bang your friend, and not you.
If she says hello to you, you might have a chance.
If she doesn’t, your chances are nil, statistically speaking.
Does she dress up for you, show cleavage only when she knows you are going to be around,(and not when you pop in during your stalking stage) ask you if you like her outfit or if you think she’s pretty?
She probably likes you.
Unless, she keeps talking about your friend. Or brother.
Medications or Ovulating
Is she nice to you all the time, and not just in the middle of her cycle, or when she is taking Xanax?
She might like you.
We are not always the easiest to figure out, but here are some rules of thumb. I hope this helps:
1-don’t guess her age. If you do, guess much lower.
2-don’t ask her her weight. If you do, you’re stupid.
3-flatter her, and be genuine about it. Come-on lines out of joke books are for losers.
4-don’t flirt with her sister, or egads, her mother.
5-if she’s in a bad mood, just back away and leave wine or chocolate.
6-she is NEVER fat in those jeans, unless you’re her gay best friend. Or her brother.
7-remember anniversaries. Even the stupid ones like “1-month anniversary.” Silly, I know, but remember.
8-pay for the first date, and make sure it isn’t a 7-11.
9- if she shows signs of fangs, run.
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