The other day I got bad news.
It was the kind of news that once I heard, instinctively, I knew my gut had been right all along.
Women’s instinct you might call it.
I kept my chin up for most of the day, but towards the nighttime, I crumbled. I feel like the past 1.5 years have been too much of an emotional roller coaster in which there are way more downs…and few ups. I’m trying to keep myself from fully giving into depression. Finding the silver lining, I have my health, etc.
The only way I know I haven’t truly succumbed is how others describe me as a happy person to be around.
Little do they know.
So when I heard my doorbell ring last night, I was thinking, “Fuck.” I was in no place to see anyone. But when I opened the door, there it was.
It was a Godiva package.
*note–this was not my package.
Hmm. I didn’t remember ordering anything, but there was my name on the package.
Furiously, I opened it up. At that point, I had already downed a copious amount of chocolate to get through the day.
And there before my very eyes, were three large chocolate hearts with the word “Hug” in pink on them.
I couldn’t believe my good fortune. As I am sobbing, here arrives a box of large chocolate hearts from Godiva. If it had had a vibrator in the box, I could have been set for Valentine’s Day. For life. All I would need is conversation…and I guess I am good at writing out the conversations I wish I could have more often with others. Plus, I talk to myself in my head all day long…and make small talk with strangers.
You could argue I am crazy. Go for it.
At least I’m not dull.
Anyway, back to these hearts. Who had sent them to me?
I open the card, and it revealed that a wonderful friend of mine had sent them to me, knowing I had had a bad week last week. Interestingly, this person did not know what had happened to me that day…yet her package was timed perfectly.
Was this world peace or the end of all poverty? Was this a diamond ring or Brad Pitt–the Thelma and Louise years naked at my door?
It was better.
It was better because in my life, I’m not usually surprised by anyone.
Maybe sorta-kinda-once. A few times.
Never had a surprise party–other than the baby shower and hell, I knew it was coming. It’s very hard to surprise me…and my daughter too. We’ve got one open always, like Santa.
While I have awesome friends (clearly)who have been there for me and care about me, there aren’t many times I can recall men surprising me…or many of my friends surprising me.
Or recall me feeling very special, in general.
You know, feeling as if you really are needed and wanted. As if your existence makes someone else’s existence enlightened and better.
And with just one small package and one small gesture, I felt wanted and loved.
Maybe even special.
That gesture felt huge to me. It felt like everything and anything. It tasted like hope. That maybe this was a sign that while bad times have lingered, things will get sweeter. That even when I feel like if I disappeared, it would not matter, maybe it would.
Lately in my small world, I have felt as if it would not matter if I stayed…or if I went.
But for some reason, strangers keep compelling me to think twice. Or in this case, a friend.
I have gotten free gift cards or drinks for Starbucks randomly from people I don’t know.
I have had strangers offer me their life stories. And a former employer tell me I was the most cheerful person, well, ever.
Just one small gesture that you make—a smile, a free coffee, a hug, a note or email– could be the one gesture that kept someone off the ledge today.
One small gesture could mean the difference in one person’s viewpoint of him or herself.
It doesn’t take much to show someone you care, but it does take a genuine heart for the message to come across.
You think you know someone well, but maybe you don’t. Maybe he or she is hurting.
One gesture can tell someone that sweeter things are around the corner. Sweeter things are here, if you find them
That’s what love is.
Making someone else’s life sweeter just by being in it.
Signed a Grateful and Sentimental Girl in a Chocolate Coma.
Please roll me out of the house once the apocalypse comes.