Enough with your threesome fantasy, Men: Women need two men

All I hear from men is how they’d like a threesome. They don’t care who the additional woman is, as long as there are two women in the bed with them. The idea of two women touching each other is enough to make one man’s mind potentially explode for good. After a threesome, it is possible that a man might just spontaneously combust.

But the fact is, we are tired of hearing your requests for this scenario as it seems rather selfish. How come it can’t be two men and a woman? Or hell, three women and no men?

Here are a few reasons why a woman needs two men, more than you dudes need your threesome fantasy.

Multitasking

Men can only do one thing at one time. Therefore, statistically, a female would be better of utilizing two men in bed if she wants to get off properly. We’re complex creatures, and we need extra hands.

Listening Ears

Men don’t listen very well.

What, what’s that you say?

In fact, if you can get a man to memorize your birthday, address, middle name, and age, he’s probably a keeper.

Two men means better potential for getting the job done!

One to Cook

If a you have one man, only one chore is completed. IF.

Two men means more chores. Think of how sexy two men could look while cooking…while cleaning?

You’re hot already, aren’t you?

We are Moody

We like you today, we hate you tomorrow. If a woman has two men, she will have the option of fooling around with the one she doesn’t hate…and when she gets mad, she will have bachelor #2 in the other corner (of the bed).

Historically Speaking

It’s never been uber-Kosher for a chick to have two dudes. It’s seen as slutty, yet you XY’ers can have your concubines and fifty wives and all is well. Your penis could be falling off from gangrene, and you’re still swell.

Women should have two men as much as possible simply to break the glass ceiling.

Crash!

Did you hear me?

Now that you know why two heads (ha, ha) are better than one, take my advice and report on the results. I might add that if you’re a lesbian or bi sexual, promptly ignore my advice, and instead, grab two women.

At least you know the job will get done.

Signed,

Boss of the Cook and Cleaner

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