frommtvtomommy

Vanilla or Chocolate? The case for being kinkier, especially if you’re married

In humor, marriage, relationships, sex on February 20, 2014 at 3:40 am

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See this chocolate ice cream? Doesn’t it look delicious? Don’t you want to run out right now, and buy some? Don’t you want to rip the spoon off the screen, and dig in?

Now, imagine looking at this same bowl of ice cream every day, for years.

Would you still have the same voracious appetite for said ice cream?

You might still want to eat it, and you’d probably still lick the bowl, but don’t you think eating the same treat each night is a little dull?

Sex is the same way. It’s sex, so it can’t be bad…unless of course, you ended up with the douche who rams you like he is trying to bodyslam you as if he’s at a heavy metal concert, or you’re with the chick who lies there and fake moans.

Sex is always good, but it would be a lot better if after a few weeks of chocolate, you switched it up a bit and had pistachio. Or butter pecan. Or Heath bar crunch by Ben & Jerry’s. Ah.

Sorry. Ice Cream addict here.

We live longer nowadays. Back in the old days, marriages wouldn’t last as long because people died faster.

If you want to keep it interesting, and you want to still like the sex, switch it up, or otherwise, plan to get bored realllly  quick.

If you’re timid, try a basic vibrator or lingerie.

if you’re a bit violent or competitive, try S&M. Ropes, ball-gag, handcuffs, etc.

If you’re type A and competitive, submit.

If you’re theatrical, try swinging.

If you’re musical or artistic, try adding food or role play to your sex routine. Paint with chocolate.

If you’re hyper-masculine and like to show off, have people watch you.

If you’re a frequent masturbator, try dirty talk.

If you like to watch, add a friend to the mix, or watch porn together.

Whatever you do, I guarantee you, you need to switch it up. Cinderella had to get creative at some point in order to keep Prince Charming happy, otherwise she would have ended up back at the sweatshop.

Don’t be lazy. Get to work.

I like my chocolate, and I like it with all the fixings,

Laura & her Facebook Posse, which you should join, especially if you liked to be called a naughty boy or girl.

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  1. Great post – I love chocolate ice cream but not every night

  2. […] Making your wife happy means you then get to ask for great favors. […]

  3. […] that,” and not in a hot S&M kind of way. It’s amazing how anger can turn a once sexually pleasurable relationship with one’s partner into the Cold […]

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