frommtvtomommy

The bad porn look

In humor, sex on February 24, 2014 at 3:37 am

I guess by stating that there is a bad porn “look,” this implicates me as being a viewer of porn.

And to be honest, I don’t often watch it because I think most of it sucks (bad plot line, often male point of view, cheesy actors), but when I do, I notice things.

I’m paying attention. What can I say, I’m a great student. 3.75 at Columbia.

And a 4.0 at deciding what porn looks need to go.

Here’s my input, in case anyone gives a crap.

Waxed Eyebrows

Maybe it’s just me, but I like my men “manly.” That’s not to say that it’s awesome to look like a beast, but too much waxing makes me feel as if he took longer to get pretty than I do, and I’m pretty set on getting made up myself.

Bring back men.

We miss you.

Love,

Women.

Fake Nails

I hate a chipped manicure as much as the next beauty queen, but long fake nails kind of gross me out. It’s so 1980.

And do all of you need a french manicure?

It looks like every woman went to the same stylist and said, “Here, make me look like porn.”

Scrunchy Mouth

The whole “O” look is really fake. Not everyone forms a perfect O like that each time they’re enjoying sex.

You look like an idiot.

Try watching yourself after scenes.

Eek.

Overly Tan

Um, I appreciate that not every one wants to be porcelain-skinned like me, but do you all tan year-round? I know it makes a man look more cut and a woman too, but to some extent, it’s just so stereotypical and blah-blah, blahhhh.

Fake Boobs

Real boobs, real small boobs even, look better more often than not, than the fake ones. The fake nipples look odd to me, but maybe I’m just used to looking at my own.

If you’ve got small tits ladies, own it. Some of the perkiest ones are small and beautiful.

I can appreciate wanting them bigger, but be sure you don’t look ridiculous after. I mean, hey, they’re your tits.

And yes, there are big-boob fetish porn, but that’s not what I am discussing.

Note: some fake ones look great, so I am not hating. Not all are created equal though.

Say Something

Men never say anything in these porn scripts. Say something. Sure, there’s a time to be quiet, and we women like that, but other times, it would be nice if you said something sexy, and it didn’t sound utterly ridiculous.

Straighttttt  LOONG Hair

I notice a lot of chicks with straight hair. What’s wrong with a little kink or curl?

Is this a revolution against the kinkified?

And why does it have to be uber-long? I get that some guys have fetishes, but are you all into doing Rapunzel?

I just find it a bit trite and boring.

Maybe I am expecting too much because most of these movies and clips are made from the male perspective.

I guess that’s the real problem.

Signed,

A woman who would like less spray tan, and more dialogue,

BringBackMen

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  1. Now you know why so many people get trapped in that fantasy world. Its just terrible.

  2. A porn look I could definitely do without — razor burns on a shaved p^*sy; no one needs to see it that close up.

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