Everyone likes to tell me day in and day out how, “There has to be two. Kids need a sibling.”
One might be the supposed loneliest number, but it takes two to fight, and three to make an all out war.
It’s something I’ve written about before, and while there are a lot of great reasons to have siblings, I’m kind of tired of hearing about it. The fact is, having an only child can be kick-ass awesome. Here are some incredibly legit reasons, some of which are sexy, to stop at number one.
We don’t always love our siblings
Not everyone loves his or her sister or brother. Sometimes a sibling comes along that causes just enough strife in the family to mess up the whole dynamic. In theory, it would be nice if little brother and sister were best buds but guess what, sometimes siblings hate each other.
Sorry, but true.
Double Strollers are not sexy
I saw a woman pushing a double stroller the other day, and I instantly felt relief that I had one kid, a nice outfit on, and deodorant under my “pits.” Yeah, when you’ve got a brood, creature comforts like brushing your teeth and hair can be a feat in itself. I was happy to be relatively stress-free, and not driving a mini-van.
Hey, having one kid means less muck up the environment with my smaller car.
Thumbs up to the bitches who say my kid needs a baby brother or sister. I am saving the environment!
Independent and strong
While I have met a few dependent only children, it is more often than not that only children are independent and shown to thrive later on in life.
See? They survive without someone to steal their clothes, shoes, and smack them around during childhood. Life isn’t all that bad as an only.
Banging for procreation: done!
Remember how fun it was saying, “Hey honey, I’m ovulating, get the f*#k home!”
Or, “I don’t care, just finish already…” while you hold your legs up for 20 minutes to let the sperm do its magic?
Not sexy. Not fun. God awful.
Now sex can be sex, for sex’s sake. Always.
No more being pregnant
Your body is yours. If you were like me and had a severe illness, like hyperemesis, you never have to be sick again.
My boobs, never have to leak again.
I never have to ask someone else to shave my public hair because I can’t see over my belly, and don’t want to go into labor with a ridiculous bush.
I have found most only children to be close to their parents, and I am incredibly tight with my daughter. I don’t feel like sharing my love with another, and I can’t undergo another pregnancy anyway, physically.
It’s like having a best friend.
And a bit messier, and sometimes, she hits me with her head. Accidentally, of course.
Time for the couple
Less kids, more time with couple. More time, means more fun, unless you hate each other.
More fun, means travel, play, and sex.
I did just say sex, right?
My kid will survive without a sibling. Kids need love, not necessarily little siblings to torture them. Siblings are great, but 2 isn’t for everyone. In fact, I’m a small lady, and I like my intimate circles to be top notch. I’m pleased with the company I’m in, and happy that I will never carry a bucket seat infant carrier again in my life.
Although I did like the breast feeding.
In honor of the only, have sex tonight, just for fun, and not for making babies.