frommtvtomommy

Domestic life is not always sexy: 4 Ways to enhance your female or male partner’s sex drive

In love, marriage, relationships, sex on March 2, 2014 at 2:38 am

Sex

Domestic life…chores. Marriage. Long-term monogamy. These things don’t always add up to great sex. In fact, it’s usually the opposite. I’ve recently been very interested in psychotherapist Esther Perel’s work, and am dying to read her book “Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence.” Highly recommend checking her out if you’re looking for insight into sexuality and relationships.

Her work and comments made me think of a few very good suggestions for how to enhance your partner’s sex drive and amp up the heat that doesn’t involve “adding new sex positions” or watching porn.

Try my tips, and let me know if your sex life has kicked it up a notch.

Send photos too.

Kidding!

Being Mommy or Daddy

It is not exciting to pick up after a partner as if he or she is a child. Avoid making your partner feel as if he or she is parenting you. When the relationship becomes too much as if one person is “parenting” the other, whether it’s by fixing a partner’s constant financial mistakes or life problems, controlling all of the parental duties, or cleaning up a partner’s side of the room (who enjoys picking up someone’s laundry each day?)…cut it out.

No one wants to have hot sex with a baby. Unless of course, the person is a child molester. In which case, shoot that bitch.

Take care of yourself, and the other person will have the respect and desire to see you as an adult, and an equal in the bedroom.

Element of Surprise

It is not possible to have the same sex day in and day out and have it be exciting after 6 months, or okay, 3 years.

It gets boring after repetition, as does any activity.

Try something or anything different–not just sex position wise, but try something different in your life. There is nothing sexier than watching our partner excel at something new. Become interesting. Being boring, doing the same thing day in and day out, makes it so your partner doesn’t look at you as someone to “get to know.” He or she knows everything about you. It’s boring. Boredom doesn’t equal hot sex, although yes, there is a joy to familiarity and comfortable intimacy. You shouldn’t have to change yourself. That’s not what I mean, but instead, trying new things and putting effort into who you are as a person, is sexy.

Don’t take me for granted

Don’t let your partner take you for granted. It happens often to us all, and when it does, be sure to not be at the person’s beck and call as if you are a slave. Let them work a little. Let them wonder.

Mystery is fun.

This wouldn’t be the time to run away or anything, but we always like what we have to work for a bit more than what something or someone that is handed to us.

Touch-in time

Create a time each week just for each other. No phones. No iPads. No kids. Even if it is just one hour. Talk about nothing related to work. Talk about something new. Talk about how you feel. Remind each other that you exist still, as a couple, in this crazy world.

Happy Humping,

Laura

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  1. Reblogged this on Kacie´s Kinky Kixxx ♥ and commented:
    Very interesting read.

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