Every time I chat with another mother out in the world I hear this: “My daughter…she’s just so ugh! So strong willed!”
“She’s got a mind of her own. She’s stubborn.”
As the daughter of a barn burner–thanks Candid Kay for the phrase– I’ve had the same struggles. The head-to-head battles with my daughter over the most inane things and at times, it is frustrating.
But that said, I’d rather her be a stubborn mule than a “go with the flow Fanny,” and here’s why:
Back in the 50’s, women simply had to excel at homemaking. In the 70’s, more women were going to college and fighting for their rights to party, so to speak. Nowadays, women are expected to be Superwomen.
Superwomen: dominatrix of the home, school, and work front. High-achieving. Career- oriented. DIY diva. Top chef.
We’re not just allowed to be homemakers or career women– we have to be both. And in a day and age where sex starts to sell as young as 9– (check out pants with words on the ass. Really? For a 9 year-old?) we need our girls to be tough. We need them to be tough, to negotiate, and to command a presence when out in the world.
This doesn’t mean that they should be bullies or dictators, but it does mean that we want our girls to be strong because this world is not going to be nice to them. It won’t do them any favors. The world will expect more and more…and more of them. They have to grow up to be able to handle this pressure, decide which “causes” to align themselves with, and delineate between the media’s image of female bodies and their image.
So when people comment that well, “Little girls aren’t always sugar and spice and everything nice,” I say:
I don’t want her to be everything nice. I want her to be nice when deserved, and a little mean when warranted.
I’m not raising a doormat. I’m raising a woman.
With Spicy Hot Sauce and Savory Treats,