frommtvtomommy

A Guide on How to Annoy Your Older Siblings

In family life, humor, parenthood on March 15, 2014 at 6:17 pm

As the youngest child of four girls, I feel I am more than qualified to provide siblings of all ages with helpful hints on how to annoy the crap out of your older siblings.

If you feel you could use the extra help and that your older siblings are in severe need of being irritated, read on.

Please share. Remember, younger siblings are getting closer to dominating the world. With your help, we could take over the planet. Besides, the oldest and more responsible sibling makes for no fun anyway.

Watch them make-out

If your sibling is making out with someone, spy on them. Spy on them and shout directives from hidden corners of the room. Phrases like, “Less tongue,” “How long does it take dum-dum to take off a bra?” or “Sorry, that’s just a finger,” are sure to make your older sibling infuriated.

Oh what joy this will bring you!

Be stronger or bigger than them

It always annoys older siblings when the older one is stronger or bigger, especially if you happen to be male and have a brother. Be sure to compare your biceps to his or if she’s a girl and you are too, remind her that you are taller than her.

She will hate you.

Muah-hahahaha!

Get married first or have a baby first

If you get married before big sis, oh hell-to-the no! She will be pissed. If you pop a puppy out sooner, she will be livid. Note: if you are a teenager, do not have a baby. Life is not like TeenMom. It is worse. Wait until you’re older to procreate. Thanks.

Steal their stuff, and then claim it’s yours

Steal their stuff and then years later when your silly older sibling remembers that awesome shirt, basketball, or electronic goodie that you have since appropriated, fool him or her into thinking it was yours first. Remember, they’re older and will most likely be fooled, or be too exhausted with your banter to argue.

Make fun of them around their friends

Make fun of them around their friends. It’s not nice, but it is really funny.

Do things to piss off their spouses and significant others.

I once used to tap my sister’s boyfriend’s car so his alarm would go off every single day. Why? Because he was  dick. That’s why.

And it was funny 🙂

Reap the fruit of their labors

Mom and Dad are really tired by the time the youngest has been born. Do all the bad things your older siblings couldn’t do and when your older siblings complain that you get away with murder, stick your tongue at them and say, “Nanny, nanny, poo-poo.”

Do this in a slightly nasal voice. It is even more unnerving.

Now that you know how to be a pain in the ass, I hope you truly enjoy every moment. I know I did!

If you love me and enjoy reading memoir, comedy, sex & love, and parenting tips, follow me on social.

You can stalk photos of me like a lunatic on Instagram, get a look inside my hormonal and crazy mind on Pinterest, and shake your finger at me on Twitter.

If you don’t, I will snap your bra and put fake dog poop in your car.

Lovingly,

Laura

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  1. I think you are my little brother in disguise……..

  2. It all sounds so familiar! And I believed my older brothers when they said I was just evil. According to your blog, it is really just normal behaviour for a younger sister! Especially when boys are so much more gullible and fun to torture!! 🙂

  3. There are many avenues of competition. When I was 18 my three year old sister proudly told me that she had a fatter tummy than I did.
    There’s no beating that.

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