When making the decision to have a child, people often immediately think about the sleepless nights of infancy, the temper tantrums of toddlerhood, and the hormone fest of the teen years. While it makes sense considering that’s going to be a big part of raising a child, when you go to make a baby, consider what happens after high school. How you support your adult children into college and hopefully, a life of independence.
Sometimes though, that doesn’t happen. Our adult children may become ill, disabled, divorced, or may need to move in with you with their adult children while say, a home is being built…or a move is being made. Sometimes adult children may need help with their offspring, homes, or career plans.
As parents, it’s our job to help our children become self-sufficient and strong individuals, but this doesn’t stop when they are 18. If you think that way, don’t be a parent. Being a parent is a forever job. Abandoning or not supporting adult children is not wise. While there are circumstances in which a parent needs to cut off a child, such as in the case of drug abuse. You certainly don’t want to enable a child to abuse drugs, or support a horrific lifestyle or habit. No one is advocating for you to toot your child’s horn while say, she stays married to a man who beats her.
But upon making a baby, realize that the loyalty and love shouldn’t end at 18. Supporting your adult children through tough times is what a parent should do, as long as the adult child is making sane and healthy choices.
If you decide to turn your back on your kids at any point in their lives, don’t expect them to wipe your butt or care for you when you are old and grey. This is a reciprocal relationship.
I mentioned on social media the other day how I do my best to earn my daughter’s love and respect, and someone applauded me.
Respect and love are earned, not given just because you happen to be blood related.
I had a child knowing that no matter what, I will always be here for her because she is my blood, my heart, my responsibility, and my joy.
So daughter, if you are ever down and out at any age, just know that where I am will always be home.