frommtvtomommy

You can’t plan life. Or Love.

In life, love on April 30, 2014 at 5:43 pm

I thought I had everything planned out right when it came to marriage, children, and work.

I waited this amount of time before marriage. This amount of time before having a child. I applied to these jobs and took these classes.

I had everything figured out. Or so I thought.

I’m not saying you should wake up every day without a goal, plan, or dream to follow, but I am saying to say “freak off” to the “rules of life” because life is going to happen no matter what you plan.

I believe people should think with their heads and feel with their hearts. This isn’t to say that decisions should be made haphazardly, but that no one needs to live life according to the rules.

A friend of mine met someone she loved right after leaving her ex-husband. He loved science fiction and she loved the way he could build things with his hands. People said it was rushed. Guess what? It worked.

Other people I know have dated and courted folks for years before marrying and what happened? Some divorced.

Some stayed together.

I’ve had friends wait years to have babies, while their marriages and careers stabilized, only to find their marriages crumbling or their pregnancies difficult and compromised. I’ve had other friends have kids at age 21 and still to this day, love their partner.

There are no rules or set determinations to “define” what will work and what won’t. The fact is, no one can technically promise forever, but someone can promise to wake up each day and try to do his or her best for his/her partner, kids, family, etc.

Shit happens. Healthy people get sick. Wealthy people become poor. And vice versa.

What rule can you follow?

You can follow this one:

No matter what,surround yourself with positive people, scenarios, jobs, and environments that make you feel like a good and worthy person. That’s your heart telling you you’re with the right one. You’re in the right field. You’re surrounded by goodness.

And then, think things through: is your heart right? What are the pros and cons?

After that, you can kiss all of the advice and rules goodbye.

Love and life can’t be planned. It happens as life is happening, and you better be ready to take it on, or lose what could be right in front of you.

It’s scary to think that life can change in a blink of an eye, but it is comforting to know that if we value ourselves and surround ourselves with people who value us, so much good can come from that.

It’s called happiness.

Kittens and Sunshine,

Laura

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  1. Surrounding yourself with people and situations that make you feel good is not always the best course of action. Sometimes feeling good is bad for a person, sometimes the friction of conflict and suffering is exactly what a person needs to become a better person.

    I am not saying suffering is inherently sanctifying, because it evidently isn’t, people can become corrupted and weakened by suffering just as they can become corrupted and weakened by pleasure – but at times the bitter pill is just what the doctor ordered.

    • No, I disagree because you’re not understanding what I wrote exactly. Yes suffering expands our inner strength. Yes seeking out intense pleasure constantly is probably a sign of weakness…and it’s nice to be with someone who will share with us when we need to hear the truth about our own crap…but overall, seeking people who validate our good choices and support us, rather than diminish us as an individual is key. Someone who lets you shine your light. You should not choose someone who makes you suffer. Your point is valid but more for a general outlook: suffering builds character, etc…but one shouldn’t choose someone who makes one suffer. Thanks so much for reading and commenting 🙂

  2. […] is one thing to admit that a marriage, a relationship does not work when you have tried every last thing in the book, but getting used to not seeing my […]

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