frommtvtomommy

The Sound of Silence

In divorce, family life, motherhood on May 6, 2014 at 1:27 am

 

There is nothing more painful (for me) than not seeing my daughter.

Saying goodbye to something is hard but going without seeing my daughter feels like slow torture.

A silent house just isn’t natural, especially for me, a woman who grew up with three other sisters. Silence just meant everyone was sold as slave labor to China. There was no such thing as silence. It was loud, 24/7.

It is one thing to admit that a marriage, a relationship does not work when you have tried every last thing in the book, but getting used to not seeing my most favorite person in the whole world seems impossible.

I know it is right and good for children to be with their parents. To get time with both. We made her both and she needs us both.

I just wish I didn’t miss the sound of her voice so much. The music she likes to listen to. Somehow it feels wrong singing to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs without her. Seeing her toys lay around, no one making her fifty million dolls come to life. Cinderella and Belle haven’t had a fight since she left. Snoopy is sitting alone without Woodstock.

My dog doesn’t even bother to chew any of her dolls.

Her bed is unmade, and the blanket is rumpled up as if she were just in it seconds ago.

All I am left with is the empty feeling that she is not here, and I am not with her.

I’m just Linus without his blanket and just left with the thought and desire that I hope she will turn out okay.

That’s all any good parent wants for his or her kid: a happy child.

 

I don’t care if she’s wealthy or a super star. I just want her to wake up every day rejoicing in the fact that she gets to enjoy another day.

Because I know I do when she is with me.

Alone without her blonde sidekick,

The “Bigger” Blonde

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  1. I have gone through some miserable experiences in my life but the worst was when my son’s mother and I broke up and we became one of the millions of fractured house holds in the world. I vividly remember the way my son would not let me go when I tried to leave after dropping him off. Driving away was the most heart wrenching experiences that a person could go through.

    Well, 13 years have come and gone and my son is normal and it is just our reality. I wish things could have been different but it probably was for the better. Sorry that you are going through this awful experience.

  2. I know the feeling. You will get used to it. I did not say “immune” :). And you know what? You will definitely be prepared for the that every parent will experience; the day when the child leaves the nest. I had ten years of training before my son took his things and moved to his own apartment. 1 separation of 3 is done. And I survived! / Take care – Maria from Sweden

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