How to Die Alone in just 3 Easy Steps! With Photos!

If you’ve been wondering how you can effectively die alone, here is a go -to guide for you!

Screw the photos…I didn’t have time, but with this handy dandy information you can learn how to attract bad scenarios that way you stay alone for the rest of your life.

Are you dating someone who doesn’t love you?

Are you married to someone who doesn’t remember your name?

Are you in love with an asshole, narcissist, abuser, neglecter, or married man or woman?

Do you isolate yourself? Is your only social activity talking to yourself in your bedroom?

Did your parents neglect you?

Then you too, can be on your merry path to dying alone in just 3 easy steps! To find out more, keep reading.

Isolate Yourself

Who wants to take the risk of getting to know someone and then getting dumped?

Not this hot and sassy blonde!


Why do that, when you can comfortably exist on your own without the hassle of someone else bringing you down or hurting you? Abandoning you! Screw that my friends. In order to die alone, you need to isolate yourself.

It’s healthy, right?

Don’t answer that question.

Date Jerkoffs and Marry Someone Who Hates you

I married a nice guy. Great guy. Just bought me chocolate for Mother’s Day.

Problem is, we are very different people who couldn’t make it work after multiple attempts. Plus, he doesn’t love me.

Anyway, I digress.

The best way to die alone is to date bad people who treat you poorly.



Verbal Abuse

Constant Adultery

Emotional Abuse or Physical

Frequent lies

Any of these things sound like your partner?

If you answered yes, you are going to die alone or unhappy.

Personally, dying alone is better than dying unhappy, but if you invite people–these bloodsuckers–  into your life, you will end up alone in the long run.

If you are married to someone who could care less about you, guess what: you are on your way to dying alone.

Tell them what they’ve won George!

You’ve won a one-way ticket for unhappiness, loneliness, and certain alcoholism.

Reject Good People

Why accept good people into your life? You’ll end up stuck with them, close to them, and committing to them.


Bring in the bad people that way you are sure to have your own burial plot! I hope you like daises.


These are just 3 easy steps to be guaranteed to be alone, unhappy, and down.

See? It is that easy!


A Parody on Loneliness,




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