It’s hard to know when it’s over sometimes. When you love someone, you cling to hope. Any positive word or thought could mean that there is hope on the horizon.
But sometimes there isn’t…
Here are a few signs that it’s over, Toots.
Yeah, pretty sure only 80 year olds and up call people Toots…anyway, back to the topic at hand.
Tells You It’s Done
I once had someone tell me that he “Didn’t give a shit about me.”
Well, there’s no way to misinterpret that–pretty harsh, right?
If he or she says I don’t love you…then believe it. Even if the person goes back later to say,”Oh I didn’t mean it,” you still should consider that person trouble or the relationship troubled. Using cruel words during a fight is not productive and threats are not kind.
A Storm Is Brewing
Things may not be kosher when your partner does these things:
- Doesn’t make time to spend with you
- Is distant or constantly “busy”
- Uninterested in sex
- Picking you apart–finding a flaw in everything you do or say
- Less Affectionate
You’re No Good, You’re No Good, You’re No Good. Baby, you’re no good
See above–picking apart…being constantly criticized is a surefire yet passive aggressive way, to tell your partner doesn’t love you anymore. It’s annoying and babyish–dumping or divorcing would be easier than tearing someone down, but it’s a sign it’s done.
Making the Effort
If you are married and having troubles and you suggest counseling, date nights, different ways to communicate, or more, and the person doesn’t want to try, just nail the coffin down now: love is dead. It takes two to tango and if the person won’t be on his/her dancing shoes, it doesn’t matter how well you foxtrot.
Lying is not helpful and a sure sign that the person has a lot to cover up. That’s not love.
Do you feel awful around the person most of the time? He/she doesn’t love you.
He/she may still love you, and it could be the person is depressed, stressed, biologically challenged with some issue, or not confident in his or her own body, but it could also mean the person doesn’t want to put the effort in to keep the spark alive…
Or, is banging someone else.
Hopefully not, but it’s still not a good sign.
Love is not always chemicals and dopamine and oxytocin. Eventually, the fires die down, and so while it takes work and strategy to keep the passion alive, love is built on intimacy and companionship. Two strong separate people who can come together and yet be apart without leaving the other totally.
If you feel as if the person is straying, address it. If the person won’t try, in the words of a certain Frozen song, ‘Let it go.’
There has to be a better fish in the sea for you, and if not, at least you won’t drown in misery.