Ladies, You’re Kidding Me: A Few Things You Ladies Shouldn’t Do On Your Online Dating Profile

Whoa…was just about to go to bed, when I started to view women’s profiles on an online dating site. And now, I have to write this before I rest my poor weary head.

I decided to look just to see what the single lady landscape is like…who are the others like me out there now, some never married, and others like myself. lost our love and now out in the world again, this savage world of single life.

Well ladies, I’m damn ashamed of many of you. What I saw scared me, and as a dude, would scare the shit out of me. Some of you however, were beautiful and happy looking.Kudos girls.

Here are a few things you damn well better not be doing girls on your online dating profile.

Crazy cat…crazy cat lady


Look, I grew up with 7 cats. I love cats. They’re cute. They groom themselves. They’re not as needy (although I love my pup!) as dogs. However…

Posting your main profile photo with your cat shoved in the front and your head all the way in the back?

You’re asking to be single…for life. Not just for today. Forever.

Puckered lips

You look like a teenager, except for wait…you don’t. Now you look like a fool. Cut that crap out!

Smile, damnit

Some of you may not have perfect teeth, but the whole somber look just really spells “Date me!” You know?

No. It doesn’t.

It’s somber and depressing.

Sexy look

Come hither, I get it. Some of you were just naturally sexy, but the ones trying…it looks desperate…and if all you want is sex, great, you’ll get it. No judgments here! But if you want to get some decent intelligent guy to click and message you, look natural, and smile.

Eharmony recommends smiling. Do you approach funny-faced looking people? Probably not.

Double chin and other funkiness

I am not all that fabulous…and certain shots of me look awful. They just do. But why would someone put a photo with a double chin sticking out, practically hiding the rest of the face? Don’t be afraid. If you can’t put a photo of your face on the site, then maybe you are too shy to date still? I am not sure. Perfectly good looking or average women chose some bizarre shots to display.

At the end

I am trying to help. Me? I don’t believe online is my thing. I met my husband through social media BUT I already knew of him and had mutual friends. But this is the way of the world, and ladies, most of you are dazzling and bright. I really loved the beach photos, the natural smiles, and the easy and approachable look most of you had, but some…ugh.

I should be an old-fashioned matchmaker. It’s the Jew in me.

Matchmaker, matchmaker,




4 thoughts on “Ladies, You’re Kidding Me: A Few Things You Ladies Shouldn’t Do On Your Online Dating Profile

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