I have noticed a growing trend: women are either acting as total bitches and destroying the men around them,or are doting on their every need and willing to excuse every behavior possible. While there are most certainly ladies in-between, I fear for this dichotomy and how it plays out in the future for relationships and how men will view us, as an entity.
It’s not always easy to know when to stay or when to walk away from a relationship, whether it’s a 6 year-relationship, ten- year marriage, or a year of dating.
Here are some tips and factors to consider when deciding if your situation is worth the elbow grease and love necessary to make your relationship work.
Hint: an affair doesn’t necessarily mean you should leave them, in my opinion.
Read on here.
To Deciding Factors,
After being in a family unit or a couple, it can be hard to adjust to being alone.
As a mom, alone time is pretty far and few (for most of us anyway), and when we get it, we often cherish it because we need that time to rejuvenate and be the person we were before we became that all-encompassing role of “mommy.”
I don’t believe that anyone of either gender should ascribe to behaviors or roles that have been pre-scripted by society. I don’t care if you’re a dude with a purse, a dolly, or major biceps. I don’t care if you’re a biological chick who wants to be called a “him” or a gender neutral pronoun, or what have you. Continue reading
Maybe your partner always forgets to put up the toilet seat or maybe he always forgets important dates and birthdays.
Maybe she leaves her clothes all over the place and burns dinner. Or maybe she refuses to get kinky at all or maybe he pesters for sex as he sits in his dirty clothes. Your gal may refuse to get her hair wet and your dude may sit around while the dishes lay in the sink…
Whether your problems are pedestrian, pornographic, or pedantic, taking a mentally tally of how bad the other person’s messing up is a surefire way to end up alone. Here’s why:
Sometimes a person falls into our path, life, or day for a reason. Or if you don’t believe in that–maybe we can restate it as people come into our lives whether for an hour, a month, or a year+ and we then collect meaning and apply it to our lives as we go. That sounds more like my way of thinking. We meet people and then our interactions become meaningful to us in ways that may or may not be meaningful to the person we’re gathering such insight from.
That’s why a person you fall in love with might only view you as a source of inspiration…or otherwise. Why a friend may view you as someone to hang out casually with, but not someone to discuss his/her dark secrets with.
After walking clear across Central Park from the Upper East to the Upper West side, I sought air conditioning and a restroom at one of the city’s many Starbucks. There was a man in a bright red shirt waiting in line ahead of me.
It’s amazing how people can sell themselves their own BS and believe it.
First it’s one lie–whether stated aloud or internally to oneself– one lie begats another lie.
I’ve watched as people in my life have shut me out by claiming they didn’t care about me or love me maybe because of anger or because it was easier for them for one reason or the other.
I’ve watched as many of my friends sat and made up a million excuses (LIES) for their partners in order to vouch for why they continue to let themselves be dragged through the metaphorical mud by their partners.
It wasn’t low-self-esteem! There’s nothing wrong with that partner! It doesn’t matter to me!
While I recognize that men share their hardships and trials in life…and I know that in constructing ideas about female identity (did I lose everyone? I hope not) that this in turn shapes ideas and “laws” about male identity, there are some great male privileges that I always wish I had freely, and no, I’m not talking about walking around shirtless. Sorry, dudes.
I know that many people require medication to deal with chemical imbalances and sometimes therapy–both together is best in my opinion, but what do I know. Anywhoo, sometimes though, you yourself can snap yourself out of a dismal moment or day simply by how you think and the things you say to yourself and others. Cognitive-behavioral therapists would agree with me. Personally I prefer analysis to CBT, but I digress.
Today, I am wrapping up my book that I authored, and so it’s on to new jobs/s. I was applying for things and I felt myself cringe inside…and heard my little high-pitched voice inside my head say, “Nothing seems right here. I’m never going to find the right fit. Why bother?”
And that’s when I used my big girl voice and said, “Stop it. Stop it right now. You’ve found work throughout the whole year even though things didn’t pan out as planned. You’ve done so much good work too this year. Stuff to be happy about. Don’t get down.”
And that was it.
My bad mood floated away. It’s not always that easy to get out of a funk when things are not going your way, but sometimes it really is that damn easy.
For more happy-moments, sexiness, humor, and self-deprecation, follow me.
If You’re Happy and You Know It…
If you read my post on how being too tired for sex is a lame excuse and liked it, then you will definitely like this post. I am writing this for women, and for men who want their wives to rethink their ideas about sex. I hear from women often how, “Oh all he wants is sex…and I’m tired…” or “I just want to cuddle,” etc., and I don’t think it’s the best attitude to have, although cuddling sure is swell!
Here are 5 reasons why you should have sex with your husband/partner/wife whatever right this very instant!