Why “I’m Too Tired” Is A Bad Excuse For Your Marriage: Marriage and Sex Meditations

“I’m too tired.”

Has your wife or husband ever told you this as one of the reasons why there won’t be any sex for the night?

If you answered yes, I am pretty sure you’re in big company.

And while we are all too tired to do things sometimes–even fun things like sex– it’s an excuse your marriage doesn’t need.

couple in bed

image by tumblr


Here’s a reality check:

If you are a parent, be prepared to be tired for the rest of your life.

“Oh but the baby is teething.”

“Oh but he’s been wetting the bed.”

“Oh he’s out with friends late.”

You will always be tired. Congratulations, kiddo.

If it’s your job that tires you, here’s another piece of hearty news:

Retirement is  rarity in today’s world. Your career may get less demanding and stressful, but that may take a while.

So if you want to wait 20 some odd years, or maybe 10 if you’re lucky to be less tired, I hope your partner doesn’t mind waiting.

But that’s all he/she wants Laura…

One of my favorite go-to guru’s on relationships, Esther Perel, suggests in her book Mating In Captivity that sometimes, a female partner may mistake a husband’s desire for sex as just some empty throbbing need to get off when the reality is, wanting to have sex with a partner is often the way a husband or wife wants to show how much he/she cares…wants to connect. It’s not just about someone wanting to get his or her jollies on.

We all get tired. We all feel less than “in the mood” at times…well, some of us not so much, but still…it’s okay to not want it every night but if you’re always tired, you’re missing out.

You can sleep when you’ve left the earth.

Party All Night, and Rock and Roll All Day,


6 thoughts on “Why “I’m Too Tired” Is A Bad Excuse For Your Marriage: Marriage and Sex Meditations

  1. lonelywife says:

    My Husband and I have only been married less than two years and we haven’t had sex in almost 9 long months everyday he says “tomorrow” cause he’s too tired from working all day but my husband sits all day at work no hard labor but he’s “tired’ every night” even when I try to touch or kiss him he turns away and always wants me to hold him and a lot of nights I roll over and cry myself to sleep just wishing my husband would touch me. Help me please so lonely and idk what to do!! My vibrator can only do so much!

    • frommtvtomommy says:

      You need to sit down and talk to him directly as that seems insanely long. Maybe he is upset or stressed. Maybe the bills are bothering him. Maybe he is angry about something, or possibly doing something he shouldn’t. Don’t think the worst at first. Instead, sit down and talk to him. If that gets you nowhere, suggest counseling. If you talk to him directly and share how you feel…hopefully this will open the door to progress. Hang in there.

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