It’s amazing how people can sell themselves their own BS and believe it.
First it’s one lie–whether stated aloud or internally to oneself– one lie begats another lie.
I’ve watched as people in my life have shut me out by claiming they didn’t care about me or love me maybe because of anger or because it was easier for them for one reason or the other.
I’ve watched as many of my friends sat and made up a million excuses (LIES) for their partners in order to vouch for why they continue to let themselves be dragged through the metaphorical mud by their partners.
It wasn’t low-self-esteem! There’s nothing wrong with that partner! It doesn’t matter to me!
All these things are lies. Even if someone isn’t lying to cover his/her ass or be deceitful, lying to yourself about a loved one, yourself, or your life is bound to bring your misery.
What good does it do to fool yourself into thinking that some behavior/ action/treatment by your partner to you or by you to you partner or by you in your general life is a good thing, or acceptable?
A lot of folks feed themselves lies in order to continue in a comfort zone. Change is difficult. Change involves personal growth which isn’t usually immediate or easy.
Sometimes, people lie to themselves because they’ve decided that this is the best they can do and there are other things they’re getting from the scenario that keep them entwined in crap.
It pains me when I hear of people I care about and love running in this little psychological hamster cage of neglect, abuse, addiction, denial,self-loathing, and more.
In the past, there were times I had to walk away.
The aneroxic at the treadmill who wouldn’t stop retreating into 12 year-old behavior or go into treatment no matter how much support we gave her.
The drug addict teen who treated me like a puppet and toy at best, a sex object at worst…who was supposedly my friend…I could not withstand that.
The woman getting beat by her husband…I didn’t fully leave…but realized no matter how many times I tried to save her, it was her who needed to “let down her hair and flee the tower” herself.
In does no good to sit around, post your social media photos of fakery whether literally on a site like Facebook, or mentally in your mind.
Look at your relationship/life path blueprint. Inspect the fingerprints in your heart and mind.
Stop bullshitting and start to accept that the lies you told yourself aren’t doing anything but hurting you.
This isn’t just for people who are in bad relationships.
I’ve seen people lie to themselves about their feelings:
It doesn’t matter to me what he or she does…
I don’t care/love this person…
I don’t need this person..
It’s okay when the person does X…why would I care?
It’s sad to me that anger, fear, and low self-esteem allow someone to push a person out of his/her life. Anger hurts the owner of the anger the most. Fear hurts the owner of the fear the most. Etc.
Holding onto bad coping skills or communication skills or fears from the past is toxic.
Staying angry only hurts the relationship you have with the person you love…or yourself. How cool! You’re mad. Does cutting out someone from your life because you’re mad make you feel better in the long run?
Does shutting someone out because you don’t want to get hurt help you grow, or do you just get to sit around doing the same crap and being the same unevolved person?
You will never be able to repair the past. It’s done. That page has been turned baby. Start writing the future.
With a blank slate,
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