Ladies, Don’t Beg For Him and Don’t Berate Him

I have noticed a growing trend: women are either acting as total bitches and destroying the men around them,or are doting on their every need and willing to excuse every behavior possible. While there are most certainly ladies in-between, I fear for this dichotomy and how it plays out in the future for relationships and how men will view us, as an entity.

The Bitch Trend

I think since I am past my 20’s, I am seeing more and more bitchy and angry women. It’s not sexy ladies. Mean face doesn’t sell lingerie, does it?

I think this stems from the fact that people in my age bracket–30-40 are more likely to be divorced, still single, or unhappily married than obviously a 22 year-old. This anger I believe stems from bad marriages and relationships, and as someone who is nursing serious heartbreak over her own marriage, I empathize, but I am here to say gently:

Stop.

Not all men are dicks. Sometimes ladies, you pick dicks and then get mad that they aren’t a pretty flower. If you signed up for penis, you get penis, not daisies. And by penis I don’t mean that fun object we all love, but when a guy’s a jerk.

If you enter into a relationship with someone who is making you doubt yourself, feel like crap, not making time for you, or is desperately attempting to change you, he is a penis  or as we Jews like to say,  putz, and is not worth your time.

If you invest your time and then are mad because it didn’t work out and then suddenly, approach the general men of the world as if they are all bad, then you are the problem.

Other Bitchines:

If you are complaining or constantly expecting–actually  demanding for a man to care for you at high-income levels, or are unable to find one single good thing about your guy, you my dear girl, are the problem.

No one is perfect. There is no Prince Charming, there’s just Prince Fits-Right For Me. And with that fit, there will be itchy moments, wrinkles, stains,and other crap.

If you have a whole list of  I don’t like X, Y, and Z,  you will be lonely forever, and maybe that’s what you want.

And now for the Doormats:

Doormats.

You are like the first scenario I described: you pick  jerk and then wonder why he’s not a diamond, but instead of becoming angry at the world, you belittle yourself.

You beg.

You pick at yourself.

You settle.

You take anyone who comes along.

You believe you can change him,

Guess what? I believe my ex may have thought he could change me, but I am still the same vivacious, “I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way”– my friend stated that about me, emotional, big-hearted, large-voiced, anxious, and determined but dreamy floater he married.

You cannot change anyone.

And they cannot change you.

And there’s nothing wrong with you except for one  huge glaring flaw:

You believe you are unlovable.

And this is why you keep meeting jerks. You believe it, you project it, and this is what comes back to you.

Love yourself a little more ladies.

With Chocolate, Wine, and Diamonds,

Your bettie,

Laura

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7 thoughts on “Ladies, Don’t Beg For Him and Don’t Berate Him

    • frommtvtomommy says:

      Thank you so much…especially for the compliment on my blog! I did look at your blog, and I think you have a sweet, fun, and tongue-in-cheek voice that is worth developing. The best advice I have for you (if you wanted it) is to write as much as possible, insert photos, don’t hold back (although remember everyone can read your stuff on the net including bosses 🙂 ), and read as much as possible. 🙂
      Always willing to give feedback! Good luck on the job hunt.
      xoxox

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