I was thinking about relationships today. Toxic ones, in particular. Ones that are tenuous. Roller-coaster-y. Emotional. Unsteady.
There is really only one reason why anyone would be with a man or woman that is not good for him/her.
Can you guess what that reason is?
People have all kinds of excuses:
I don’t have the money to leave right now
Oh we’re just passionate.
It’s bad for the kids.
It will be better when he she does X. Y or Z
It will get better when we have more money/time/bigger place/less stress.
He doesn’t mean it when he acts that way.
He’s really sorry.
She’s having a bad day.
It will get better.
I can’t find anyone else.
Who else would put up with me?
We’ve hit a rough patch (for the 50th time).
Maybe it will get better.
He (she’s) not always this way.
The real reason you’re with someone who is not good to you is because you have decided you deserve it. There is never any easy time to leave someone or a worse time. There is only the right time to preserve your sanity and dignity. Maybe the person would be a great fit for someone else…but no matter what, a toxic or dramatic relationship is not normal or healthy and if you stay in that situation, you are choosing that for yourself.
I may be alone for a long time, but being alone is how someone should be until someone great comes along, and that doesn’t happen very often. I see a ton of coupled people, and I can say that 50% are great matches, 30% out of convenience, and the other 20% just dead wrong.
Be in the 50% or be alone.
Remember, if you’re with a bad seed, you’ve reaped what you have sown. Start weeding, and bring in some fresh air and light.