A Divorce Dictionary

dictionary

Divorce (n.) 1.the legal dissolution of a marriage by a court or other competent body.

v. 2.legally dissolve one’s marriage with (someone)

If you aren’t divorce or about to be divorced, or considering divorce than you probably just don’t understand what life is like for someone who is dissolving his or her marriage. Because I’m such a conscientious gal, I decided to make a little dictionary for those of you who want to know the real truth, and nothing but the truth so help you chocolate, about divorce.

Here is part I in my Divorce Dictionary:

Continue reading

Advertisements

Holidays Apart: A Divorced Thanksgiving (and Christmas)

The holidays are supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year but for many of us, it’s the most challenging. This year will be my first sharing my daughter with my ex, and here are my thoughts about my first divorced holidays.

For those of you who won’t be seeing your kids this holiday season, I send you virtual hugs and a wish for happiness and peace.

With gingerbread and candy canes,

Laura

The Life Lessons From Divorce

Some of the best lessons in life are the hardest to learn. Getting a divorce has taught me many a lesson that I wish I didn’t have to learn, but maybe it’s for the best that I learned these things. As hard as some life lessons are, once you’ve mastered the lesson, you can move on to a more fulfilling life and a better one–in my opinion.

Each person’s experience of divorce is unique, and can’t really be compared, but here are some of the life lessons I learned from divorce:

Continue reading

Divorced People Problems: Do You Stay Social Media Friends With Your Ex’s Family?

It’s a conundrum of the new social media millenium: when you divorce or separate, do you remain friends with your ex and their family on Facebook and other social media outlets?

For some, the answer may be very clear, but for some of us, negotiating new relationships with family after a divorce can be hard.

Find out what I chose to do in my situation, here.

Dominating the world, one day at a time,

Laura

4 Reasons Why She/He’s Texting You But Not Hanging Out With You

All of my friends and even random strangers talk to me about their dating issues. For me, I am still figuring out how to use my sea legs now that I am almost divorced. It’s funny but not surprising how dating has changed since social media took over the planet.

One of the biggest complaints I hear is, “He/she texts me but doesn’t ask me out…” or “We text all the time but don’t really hang out.”

Well my darlings, here are 4 reasons why I think she/he is texting you, but not asking you out:

Continue reading

1 Major Sign It’s Time To Cut Someone From Your Life

Sometimes when you’re just a nice half-Jewish girl, you don’t really know how to cut people off. Or you don’t get mad when you should, or you get mad when you shouldn’t, because you’re just so tired of being so nice and smiling…and generally doing stuff to make another person happy.

If you are like me, and tend to turn the other cheek way too much, I have a brief but important lesson for you:

Continue reading

Parenting Under the Gun

As a working mom and divorced parent, I feel as if I am under the gun.

Time is hard to find. Quality time with my child is even little.

Getting things done while trying to squeeze in meals, lunches, house stuff, work, freelance work, mental health time???, play time, dog stuff, etc….I sometimes feel like this imaginary dude is sticking a glock to the back of my head and saying, “Don’t mess up.”

If it’s not work that keeps me from seeing my kid, it’s our custody schedule. If it’s not food shopping or errands to do when I have her, it’s racing to enjoy every single second I have with her.

When I was a married mom, I saw my kid more. A bad day sucked, but I felt like I could make it up the next day. Now I feel like if we have one bad morning, we have wasted the time we have…and will be just a few hours until we part from each other again.

I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

There is way too much stress on adults and kids today.

Knowing this, I purposefully made the effort as of late to not overbook her or me. Getting rest myself is key.

Another move I have made and her father has agreed with me is being very light on the technology and tv.

I’m also one of the only parents I know who doesn’t really let their kids use the tablet–we have one that was given to us…she used it last in August. Yup, August…and she doesn’t play computer games.

And when I have her, I’m not drilling her. I’m just playing with her. You remember that, right? Play? Kids used to be able to do that before we decided they should be Harvard grads by 6.

I told her teacher that I play with her. We don’t do flash cards. I introduce learning through play…like for example, the other day we drew a story and wrote the words as well on a huge lined pad….a story we created.

The teacher said, “Great. That’s what you should be doing.”

I do this so I can you know, interact with her…enjoy the moment…be absorbed in socializing and not avoiding people all together. And to decompress.

I would hate for my kid to feel under the gun this way, and so I try with her hectic schedule to keep in mind the she needs a break just like me.

I just wish someone would grant me another 72 hours to the week…

And maybe some you know, help?

I am fortunate that her dad and I are a great team together, but still…I miss the days when we lived and operated as a unit. I am glad he has great parents who help–and help us…and wish I had more helping hands myself, but am grateful for those who do what they can.

For Christmas, send me a Brad Pitt look-alike who’s well-hung, and 365 extra days to spend with my kid. I’ll be the happiest broad in town.

Sorry if this blog is rambly. I think I am going mental…the other day I saw a truck for a business called: Mario Express Service.

All I saw was this: MarioSEXpressservice…

Mario sex.

Making My List and Checking it Thrice–  Brad Pitt, Where Art Thou?

Laura

Stop and Play With Your Kids, Parents

This little diatribe came into my head after watching a bunch of countless park visits, birthday parties, and other kid-friendly activities in which I saw parents suction-cupped to their phones.

We all need a break as parents, but I just want to shake these people and say: “This time could pass before you know it, and your kids won’t play with you.”

Or if they’re unlucky as myself, they could end up divorced, dividing the time with their kids in thirds, half, or whatever.

When I was an at-home mom, I still played with my kid and took breaks as appropriate, but for some reason I find it pervasive that parents are not only phone-glued and tech-glued, but they’re just damn stiff.

Getting goofy, having fun, and being a little loud seems like a tough stretch for some of these parents.

I remember a dad who refused to sing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” at a parent and me class because it wasn’t macho enough.

Parents: be loud. Be goofy. Be stupid. Have some fun. It’s good for your heart and spirit. There’s a reason why kids are so happy and it’s not just because they’re carefree but also because they’re willing to let their mind take them wherever it wants to go. Put down the phone and let your mind wander…

Signed,

Dreamy and Goofy,

Laura