frommtvtomommy

Parenting Under the Gun

In divorce, life, motherhood, parenthood, single parent life on November 10, 2014 at 2:48 am

As a working mom and divorced parent, I feel as if I am under the gun.

Time is hard to find. Quality time with my child is even little.

Getting things done while trying to squeeze in meals, lunches, house stuff, work, freelance work, mental health time???, play time, dog stuff, etc….I sometimes feel like this imaginary dude is sticking a glock to the back of my head and saying, “Don’t mess up.”

If it’s not work that keeps me from seeing my kid, it’s our custody schedule. If it’s not food shopping or errands to do when I have her, it’s racing to enjoy every single second I have with her.

When I was a married mom, I saw my kid more. A bad day sucked, but I felt like I could make it up the next day. Now I feel like if we have one bad morning, we have wasted the time we have…and will be just a few hours until we part from each other again.

I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

There is way too much stress on adults and kids today.

Knowing this, I purposefully made the effort as of late to not overbook her or me. Getting rest myself is key.

Another move I have made and her father has agreed with me is being very light on the technology and tv.

I’m also one of the only parents I know who doesn’t really let their kids use the tablet–we have one that was given to us…she used it last in August. Yup, August…and she doesn’t play computer games.

And when I have her, I’m not drilling her. I’m just playing with her. You remember that, right? Play? Kids used to be able to do that before we decided they should be Harvard grads by 6.

I told her teacher that I play with her. We don’t do flash cards. I introduce learning through play…like for example, the other day we drew a story and wrote the words as well on a huge lined pad….a story we created.

The teacher said, “Great. That’s what you should be doing.”

I do this so I can you know, interact with her…enjoy the moment…be absorbed in socializing and not avoiding people all together. And to decompress.

I would hate for my kid to feel under the gun this way, and so I try with her hectic schedule to keep in mind the she needs a break just like me.

I just wish someone would grant me another 72 hours to the week…

And maybe some you know, help?

I am fortunate that her dad and I are a great team together, but still…I miss the days when we lived and operated as a unit. I am glad he has great parents who help–and help us…and wish I had more helping hands myself, but am grateful for those who do what they can.

For Christmas, send me a Brad Pitt look-alike who’s well-hung, and 365 extra days to spend with my kid. I’ll be the happiest broad in town.

Sorry if this blog is rambly. I think I am going mental…the other day I saw a truck for a business called: Mario Express Service.

All I saw was this: MarioSEXpressservice…

Mario sex.

Making My List and Checking it Thrice–  Brad Pitt, Where Art Thou?

Laura

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  1. I so agree with your idea of just spending time playing with your children sometimes! I am a Counselor at a school and end up discovering during sessions that most parents don’t consider play as time well-spent and would rather make the kid study (even the little ones.) I wish all parents thought like you.

    • Thank you! It is hard…sometimes I think maybe I should do it differently, but at her age, kids learn through play…and she’s bright. She’s so little…she needs to have fun!

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