4 Reasons Why She/He’s Texting You But Not Hanging Out With You

All of my friends and even random strangers talk to me about their dating issues. For me, I am still figuring out how to use my sea legs now that I am almost divorced. It’s funny but not surprising how dating has changed since social media took over the planet.

One of the biggest complaints I hear is, “He/she texts me but doesn’t ask me out…” or “We text all the time but don’t really hang out.”

Well my darlings, here are 4 reasons why I think she/he is texting you, but not asking you out:

Other Options

This person is feeling his or her options out and doesn’t want to commit to anything–not even a date. Yup, people are that fickle and reluctant these days. They text you for awhile, feeling you out–even though texting isn’t the same as really getting to know someone, because they’re not sure yet if you’re worth the date. Or perhaps…

There’s Someone Else

There may be someone else and the person doesn’t want to fully lose you, so they avoid asking you out.

Sucks, but is possible. OR

Juggling A Few

The person may be juggling a few date offers and is trying to decide. This is similar to the other aforementioned conundrums.

Too Busy& Not Ready

The person may be too busy or so she/he says…usually that means, the person isn’t ready for anything with anyone…or is juggling a few, seeing someone else, or keeping options open.

On the rare occasion someone is very busy, it’s up to you if you are able to handle that. It might be fine…as long as the person asks you out eventually!

And lastly…

Shy & Afraid

This one is the least likely. This one can happen though. My ex-husband canceled our first date because he was afraid to meet me. Sometimes, certain folks get anxious and nervous. The idea of meeting in person is frightening. A nice pretend or emotionally safe relationship via text fights loneliness and keeps the person from taking a chance on getting hurt.

Either way, I advocate for in person contact. Texting is good, but you miss meaning, screw up people’s intentions, miss out on tone, and don’t get to know the little intimacies of someone. Get in person with someone if you can, and if the person doesn’t make time for you, screw em!

XOXO and Lollipops,


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