When a woman doesn’t have an orgasm, it’s disappointing for both parties. Sometimes, it’s because a man doesn’t know what he’s doing and other times…well. Let’s discuss the reason why your woman didn’t reach the “highest of heights” the last time you had sex:
If she’s tense and not relaxed, she’s probably not going to climax. There are many reasons she may be tense:
1- Uncomfortable with her body
2-You both got into a fight and she’s still upset
3- Doesn’t feel well
4- You rushed foreplay
5- She’s not ready to have sex really, but does it anyway for your sake.
6-You have no idea what you are doing.
You’re New To Each Other
When you don’t know someone’s body especially a female, it can take awhile. Maybe she needs the g-spot stim. Maybe the clitoral. It takes awhile. Be patient. Ask questions. When something is working, keep it going!
You may think it’s all in the vagina, but most women need clitoral stimulation. Some need it light, others hard. Some slow– some fast. You need to suck up your pride and just ask. If it’s taking forever, ask. “Am I in the right direction? Just tell me.”
If you’re rushing foreplay, you’re not going to the results you want.
Sometimes if I heard my kid or the room was too cold, I couldn’t relax and so–bam!–no orgasm.
A good setting helps the situation. For some, that could mean straight to the bedroom and for others, a crazy setting like a public setting will amp up the potential for orgasm. For myself, I think I like a variety of settings depending on the scenario and how I am feeling. But if the bed/couch/seat/floor/whatever isn’t working for her, she won’t let herself go…and therefore, you’ve got a chick with pent up sexual tension and no grand finale.
Are you really thinking about her needs, or just your own? If you’re not thinking about her, it translates and trust me, later on, we’re not exactly singing your praises.
If she’s angry or sad or stressed, this will interfere with orgasm. So even if you dot all the right dots and stroke all the right spots, it just might not happen.
The Grand Finale
I think it’s important to also recognize that for years, women have been forced this “please your man” bs approach to sex that distanced women from knowing their own bodies, their own wants…and having wants in the first place. Sex was always a male-focused action and so therefore, I suspect many women don’t know their own bodies. And I bet a bunch more don’t even look at their genitals. Keep in mind that each generation of females seems more accepting and promoting sex for the fun of sex–from a female standpoint. And if someone doesn’t know her body well or doesn’t feel comfortable asking for what she wants, she most likely won’t be able to finish the deed. And it’s not all about the orgasm or end result– which is another issue in itself. Sex is fun for sex’s sake and there doesn’t always have to be some end. Too many people view it as a means to an end: sex-orgasm. Done.
They’re forgetting the beauty and joy in the process and intimacy. Sex- Touch. Intimacy. Love. Experimentation. Play. How it ends? Well, does it always matter?