If you’re human and reading this- wait, you better be human if you’re reading this– you probably enjoy sex, or enjoyed sex with someone or yourself or both at some point in your life. And really, truly, who couldn’t use better sex in their lives? I wrote a piece recently about how crucial it is to have more sex in order to keep the love alive in marriages and relationships, but I forgot to mention that it’s key to have AMAZING SEX too, but how do we go about having amazing sex?
If you’re ready to sign up for my introductory course, read on:
Your Styles Match
Just like black and white has been a hot fashion color pairing, you’ve got to make sure your styles match sexually. Are you a bossy woman who secretly wants to be told what to do by her man or woman in bed? You’ve got to find your bronco girl. Are you a guy who secretly wants to be tormented? Well, you need to find your dominatrix or your “Man in Charge.”
Styles are not always easy to assess off the bat. Sex comes in all shapes and sizes: there are quickies, long-lasting love making sessions; public sex, make-out sessions, etc. When you first get to know someone sexually, you’re kind of learning how to work the equipment so to speak.
But once you know someone well enough and can work all the shifts, do your styles match?
If you’re looking for something vanilla and he’s not just karate but- crrrraazy, you’re not a fit. If she’s needing to be bossed around and you feel like that’s degrading, well…not a match either.
But you can try this:
Most relationships need compromise. That means if she needs it to be a little bit wild, you should probably try it out. You don’t have to totally give in if you’re uncomfortable but there needs to be some kind of balance. If you’re doing too much compromising that’s a sign that your styles don’t match.
What makes someone passionate over another person? Hormones.
We all have things that send us over the edge. A man who plays with my hair for instance or makes me laugh and is perhaps dark-haired and handsome might just do it for me, but might ruin it for the next broad.
Know what you like. This is why we need to be honest with ourselves sexually. Our needs. Our likes. Don’t feel guilty or bad about what you like. Own it.
But there’s nothing worse than lukewarm sex with someone you don’t feel amazing about, which is why I have opted to not do the deed until I have found that guy that just makes me quiver all over.
If you want amazing sex, you’ve got to have it with someone who really wants you and vice versa.
If shes just laying there, walk away and don’t feel bad.
That’s not amazing sex. You could do it all by your big-boy-self and feel ten times better.
Love or Lust
An intense emotions whether it’s really loving someone or just wanting them…key to amazing sex.
Passion isn’t built on “well maybe I like her/him.”
How To Find This
I have no idea on where the right man or woman is lurking for you but I can say this much, it’s not with someone you’re just settling for…or tolerating so you’re not alone.
Stand free and tall and enjoy solitude because there is nothing sexier than a happy confident person.