This may sound like a no-brainer, but entering into an intimate relationship with a man isn’t always such a black and white decision. Typically, society has told us that men should and do have sex with women as often as they want to…and with as many people as they want to. Why? Because they’re men damnit, and that’s what men do whether they’re straight or gay. They have a lot of sex. Of course this isn’t always the case…this is just societal perception. It all depends on the individual man.
But for a woman, we are faced with the predicament of the slut or the virgin. We are supposed to be sexy and sexual, but not slutty. We should be modest, but secretively lustful and voracious.
So what happens when a woman starts to consider having sex with a man or woman perhaps- (I can’t really say in that case)?
Many things run through our brains. Here are a few reasons and signs that indicate that the man you’re with is worth hopping into bed with…or not.
You Want To
Are you horny for the guy but not emotionally invested at all? If that’s the case, it doesn’t really matter what the guy is like. Enjoy the sex. Men have been doing this for centuries. Go for it! No one is stopping you.
But if you might catch feelings…proceed on to the rest of this article.
Time, Attention, Touching
Is your hopeful bedmate giving you his time? We are all busy– saying “I’m busy is an excuse.”
Trust me, if a man wants you, he won’t be too busy. Even if he can only see you faithfully once a week, he will do it. It’s okay if he’s time constricted but if he’s full of excuses, don’t bang that brother!
Does he listen to you when you speak? Does he remember things you say? Is he curious as to who you are as a person?
Bang, bang, bang…away!
Is he affectionate and demonstrative with you in private? If he is giving with his affections, he will most likely be giving in bed which means, go for it girlfriend!
Now if he’s shy in public, don’t hold this against him. Not everyone is touchy feely…but if he’s onto you behind closed doors, this is key. Even the shyest men however if they really like you, will hold your hand or touch the small of your back ever so briefly.
Human touch is a sign of interest. I give him a green light!
Is he emotionally available or is he deep in sh*t right now? Is in the right place of mind for a relationship, or is he flaky and unreliable?
No matter how nice a guy he might be, if he’s not available to you, don’t sleep with him. You’ll just catch feelings and get hurt…unless you just want to have sex and aren’t really into him.
Do you trust this guy? Or do you feel hesitant or anxious around him? If you feel unsettled or don’t quite trust him, don’t you dare have sex with the guy! That’s only going to make your anxiety rise. Plus if you’re unsettled or don’t trust him, how will you completely let go with him in bed? Trust makes the capabilities for powerful intimacy. It’s key.
Are You Ready?
Are you ready to be intimate with someone? I mean sure, your body is. Whose isn’t? But is your mind and heart ready to deal with the beauty, passion, and complexities of a sexual relationship?
Only you know.
If he’s in a potential rebound place, don’t do it.
He’s Hurt You
If he’s hurt you or done something to jeopardize the relationship in any way, don’t give him any booty until you feel he’s shown you he’s committed to getting to know you and do the right thing by you.
I Don’t Want A Relationship
If he has told you this, don’t have sex with him. He means it. He isn’t interested in commitment. Do you really need to sleep with a guy who’s already told you there’s no future?
Unless it’s strictly sex, no, you don’t need that junk.
If you’re a last minute consideration every time…if your guy is nice to you one day and not the next…if he goes away for months only to come back when he’s feeling lonely…
But not literally.
You don’t need that.
Here’s to happy humping ladies…happy humping of great dudes who respect and care about you.