Excuses or reasons.
You may think there’s no difference, but if you find your partner giving you excuses for his or her behavior and not reasons, you are in dead relationship/married zone. You might as well cut off the dead weight today.
But how do you know if someone is giving you a reason for his or her behavior…or an excuse?
That’s another story. Read on!
If someone is constantly passing the buck when it comes to his/her choices, this is an excuse.
For example, I used to hear how I made my ex mad which gave him reason to say X nasty thing to me.
This is an excuse.
If your partner constantly passes the responsibility of his or her choices onto someone or something else…that person doesn’t know how to take accountability, and this is an issue.
If your partner says, “I was tired last night which is why I was a dick…but I am sorry. That’s no excuse…”
This person is taking ownership of that poor choice, and that’s awesome!
I Would Have But…
If the person is always letting you down…or never to be seen or heard from, it’s an excuse.
You need to adopt this attitude:
I don’t care if your mom farted, dog had diarrhea, ex-girlfriend reemed you out, or boss yelled at you….
AGAIN… for the fiftieth time.
The first time or maybe two, it’s a reason but after awhile, it’s an excuse.
A guy friend of mine told me he liked me…and then flaked from the planet for two weeks.
Do you really think he likes me? I don’t!
Someone who cares is consistent.
If your partner’s moods change like a drag queen’s hair wigs…he or she is not a keeper. That person is dead weight!
It is nice if someone says I am smart and pretty. And likes me.
We all like to hear these things.
Sometimes my ex would say he loved me.
But at the end of the day…did that person show me love at the end?
Does your partner walk the walk…and talk the talk? Or is she hot-air?
You know the truth. Face it.
Sometimes there are legitimate factors to one’s behavior.
If your partner’s self-esteem has taken a tumble, his/her health failing, loss of a loved one, etc., you may find your partner is not the same. Give that person leeway. But if after awhile the person’s bad behaviors become constant or toxic, those behaviors don’t have reasons…but excuses.
Don’t accept excuses.
If you are always late to work, doing a half-ass job, or acting like you don’t care, does your boss accept your excuses? No he doesn’t. You get fired.
Decide if the person needs to get fired, reviewed, or given a bonus.
Assess the behavior. Assess reasons. Assess excuses.
If you don’t assess, you become an ASS.
Love You Most Honest Blonde.