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Archive for April, 2015|Monthly archive page

What It’s Like to Give the Dad Control

In divorce, divorce advice, parenthood, single mom, single parent life on April 30, 2015 at 5:13 pm

I’m fully aware that there are more stay-at-home dads these days, as well as many hands-on dads, but still . . . moms on the whole appear to be the one manning the ship when it comes to child-rearing. So when my husband and I separated and I had to give up time with my daughter — three overnights a week for now while she’s in preschool — I realized that not only would I miss her, but I also would have to give up control for that time when she’s gone.

Read More:What It’s Like to Give the Dad Control

A Team Player,

Laura

A Thank You to the Ex-Mother-in-Law Who Didn’t Like Me

In divorce, family life, marriage on April 30, 2015 at 5:09 pm

My ex-mother-in-law and I had a terrible relationship. It was the cause of many fights between my ex-husband and I and created great stress. I’m not here to write about those old stressors or air any dirty laundry. It was difficult to go through and hurt me that my MIL did not like me, but I made my mistakes too, and that time is over.

When my ex and I separated, and he went back to his parents to stay for a while, I worried that my relationship with her would be worse than it was before. I fretted about how much his parents must hate me since we were splitting up. I figured there would be comments left and right about me, the terrible mother and person. “My daughter would end up not liking me,” I thought, letting the worst thoughts run through my head. How could this go well?

Guess what… It did.

Read More:A Thank You to the Ex-Mother-in-Law Who Didn’t Like Me

We May Not Be BFF’s But There’s Peace & GoodWill,

Laura

Why Working Moms Are Amazing

In motherhood, working mom life on April 28, 2015 at 3:48 pm

I recently sent a shout-out to all the stay-at-home moms saying how amazing they are. And indeed, they are! I used to be a stay-at-home mom who taught part-time on evenings and weekends, and I cherished my time at home with my little one so much — although some days I went nuts without adult time. In the past two years, though, I went back to the workforce and am going through divorce proceedings, and so my life has changed so much. I’ve been both a SAH mom and a working one, and both have pros and cons, but for all my ladies working the full-time, part-time, and overnight shifts whether on location or at home, this love letter is for you!

Read More:Why Working Moms Are Amazing

Working The Full-Time Shift,

Laura

How to Break Up With a Mom Friend

In friendship, motherhood on April 27, 2015 at 5:10 pm

Sometimes a friendship doesn’t work out, whether it’s for a major reason or small petty reasons (sadly), but what do you do when it’s a mom friend who either happens to have a child that your kid is close friends with, mingles in the same circles as you do, or both? It’s not an easy situation, and every scenario is different depending on why you decided to sever ties with this friend, as well as how old your children are and if the two children happen to be close friends or not. And if you haven’t yet cut the cord with this female friend of yours, but are considering it, maybe it’s worth figuring out a way to handle the situation in a delicate manner.

Read More: How to Break Up With a Mom Friend

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do,

Laura

The 1 Sign a Mom Needs a Friend

In friendship, motherhood, women's issues on April 24, 2015 at 8:18 pm

My daughter had two playdates set up with kids in her school this past Winter, and I was excited to meet the moms as well as the children she spoke so much about. Neither one of the moms knows that I write about marriage, divorce, relationships, and parenthood, so it was ironic that both moms revealed to me problems in their marriages in the short time span that we were all together. Even a few years back, a mom at our mommy-and-me playgroup started calling me to vent about her divorce even though I had just learned her last name. Oddly enough, here I am getting a divorce as well. You could say that perhaps it’s me; maybe I am a good listener and a very friendly person with an open mind. I would agree with all of those sentiments, but the one thing that drove these women to reveal to me their personal problems is that they needed a good friend.

Read More:The 1 Sign a Mom Needs a Friend

Let’s Be Friends,

Laura

How To Raise A B*tch

In girl empowerment, motherhood, parenthood, women's issues on April 24, 2015 at 5:25 pm

I am not a B*tch all the time, sadly. I am a go-getter and I am usually straightforward about how I feel, but I don’t assert myself like a B*tch does. Why would I want to be a B*tch you ask? And what is a B*tch, B*tch? Well, to the outside world, the word “B*tch” has a negative connotation: a nasty woman who tears others down and selfishly only acts in her own interests. A B*tch cares about nobody but herself!

But I’ve re-framed the definition to be positive and I’m recommending — yes, recommending — that you raise your girls to be b*tches. Here’s how:

Read More: How To Raise A B*tch

If You’re A Bitch Say, Hell Yeah!

Laura

7 Ways to Get Your Partner to Be the Family Planner

In date night ideas, dating advice, love, marriage, marriage advice, relationships on April 23, 2015 at 1:44 am

Are you tired of setting up date night again? I thought so! It seems like mothers are not only the goddess of the home but also the social directors of the marriage. We make the plans, we pick the places, and we set the dates. Honestly? We’re pretty darn good at it and probably shouldn’t consider retiring for a very long . . . OK, for forever. That said, it still would be nice if our partners would step up to the plate and make a date night happen before we are 90 and wearing diapers, again. Here are seven easy ways to get your partner to set up date night once and for all!

Read More: 7 Ways to Get Your Partner to Be the Family Planner

Love Your Cruise Director,

Laura

No Honey, Mommy Doesn’t Have the Money

In divorce, life, motherhood, parenthood on April 22, 2015 at 7:34 pm

Since losing the marital home, my daughter and I are now on the great chase for an affordable place that won’t have us eating rocks. Such are the circumstances of divorce. I have decided to make moving into a new place once it’s found into an adventure. That’s what the child experts say: “Make moving fun for your kids.” Okay–I got that. Make moving fun? Check one.

The one thing that I can’t make fun is that ever- so often phrase said by both divorced moms and dads alike, “No honey, I don’t have the money.”

I haven’t said it too much as of late, but I know it will be my new go to when my daughter wants us to do things we used to be able to do pre-losing home, but can’t anymore. Who can blame her for asking? It’s what she’s used to. We all want to have fun and get treats. Let’s face it: life is better with ice cream and chocolate, but we can’t always have what we want and when a divorce happens it not only shatters hearts, but it also shatters finances (but they are rebuilt!)

Read More: No Honey, Mommy Doesn’t Have the Money

A Penny For Your Thoughts?

Laura

Should You Seek Marriage Counseling?

In love, marriage, marriage advice, relationships on April 20, 2015 at 8:57 pm

Marriage counseling has a spotty reputation, it seems.

When I first mentioned that my husband (ex-husband now) and I were going to counseling, I got mixed reviews from my friends. Everything from, “That’s great! I’m glad you two are trying to make things better” to “Everyone knows that marriage counseling is a sure sign of divorce.”

I suppose then that makes us a bad argument for counseling since we are in the divorce process, but in my opinion, marriage counseling is a great idea and not necessarily a sign that you and your partner will be splitsville soon enough. Here are some solid reasons to seek marriage counseling, as well as some things to expect when starting therapy.

Read More:Should You Seek Marriage Counseling?

The Doctor Is In (Sort of),

Laura

Yes, My Daughter Sleeps With Me Sometimes, And No, I Don’t Care What You Think

In motherhood, parenthood on April 20, 2015 at 8:18 pm

Dear Concerned Citizens of Sleep:

I noted your cocked eyebrow, slight mutter or loud vocalization when I mentioned casually that my daughter slept in my bed last night. For a second, I thought that instead of telling you that my 4-year-old enjoyed a nighttime snuggle with her momma that perhaps I had said I let my daughter smoke crack. The sound of your voice when you repeated to me, “You let her sleep in your bed sometimes?” sounded more like I had just revealed I slept with someone’s husband, and not that as a special treat or sometimes just because I miss my daughter, she sleeps in my bed.

Read More:Yes,My Daughter Sleeps With Me Sometimes, And No, I Don’t Care What You Think

Snuggle Time Is The Best Time,

Laura