Month: May 2015

To My Antisemitic, Woman-Hating Bully: You’re Evil And Sad

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There’s not a lot of love for us Jews these days. Whether we’re one percent Jewish or one hundred, nasty remarks about being Jewish abound all over the internet. Many regard Lena Dunham’s essay, “Dog Or Jewish Boyfriend? A Quiz” for The New Yorker’s humor section to be not so humorous; it’s actually quite anti-semitic despite the actress and writer’s Jewish roots.

Daily Show host Trevor Noah was also called out for some of his off-color tweets about Jews. I kind of thought that since it’s 2015, anti-semitism would be out of fashion. Apparently, it’s become more in taste to bash Jews.

Yes, Jews are known for our self-deprecation and dark humor, so (to be fair) when it comes to funny, it’s hard to say what behavior is simply dark humor, self-hating Jewishness, or simple anti-semitism.

But when sentiments are clearly anti-semitic, it is wicked.

Read More: To My Antisemitic, Woman-Hating Bully: You’re Evil And Sad

Sticks & Stones May Break My Bones But Your Words Will Never Hurt Me,

Laura

5 Reasons You Should Date My Ex-Husband (Seriously!)

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Divorce, for many people, is ugly and devastating. Divorce has been a devastating loss for me. Sure, it hasn’t always been sunshine and kittens, but more often than not thankfully, the experience has been very amicable.

The divorce has given us the chance to become friends again, see the good in each other, and learn how to parent together effectively in a way we couldn’t do when we were together.

Losing my marriage helped me gain a new sense of self and forced me to grow faster than I wanted to, but I caught up. The phoenix, indeed, does rise through the ashes.

Sure, the thought of my daughter having a stepmother one day is a tough pill to swallow, but I can say wholeheartedly to the single women out there: You would be lucky to meet (and start dating) my ex. Here’s why:

Read More: 5 Reasons You Should Date My Ex-Husband (Seriously!)

I miss him, but we have to part,

Laura

5 Reasons to Put On That Bathing Suit or Heck — a Bikini

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I had a baby. Sure, I’m in good shape, but I have my flaws just as much as the next person. Putting on a bikini pre-Mom was tough for me, but I did it, so perhaps I wasn’t as nervous as other women. After I had my daughter, I felt more self-conscious. People told me I was ridiculous and that I looked fine, but I didn’t believe it. I had my daughter at the end of March, so the first Summer, even though I was back to my prebaby weight, I didn’t want anyone to see me in a suit of any kind — I was strategic to say the least. The following Summer I spent sick and pregnant, and the pregnancy did not work out in the end, so a bathing suit wasn’t on the table anyway. But then came last Summer.

Read More: 5 Reasons to Put On That Bathing Suit or Heck — a Bikini

Screw it, I’m taking off my shirt this summer again,

Laura

3 Reasons “It Wasn’t Meant To Be” Is The Most Cliché Cop-Out EVER

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Worst. Cliché. EVER.
I’ve heard people throw around the phrase, “It wasn’t meant to be” like it’s the answer to just about everything — from not getting a job to a breakup. It’s the platitude everyone whips up when there’s nothing interesting, deep, or honest to say.

Or, perhaps the person can’t be honest to the person who is breaking his or her bad “it wasn’t meant to be” news. I vehemently hate this cliché phrase for a billion reasons because it’s a bullsh*t cop-out string of words that people use because it’s easy, and most folks don’t want to be the messenger of bad news or hard knocks.

“It wasn’t meant to be” is the biggest loser of all the clichés! Here’s why:

Read More:  3 Reasons “It Wasn’t Meant To Be” Is The Most Cliché Cop-Out EVER

Don’t Give Me Your Platitudes,

Laura

Potential Ways Your Young Child May Act Out During Divorce

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When my ex-husband and I finally decided to separate and proceed with a divorce, I ran to the Internet hoping for information on how my 3-year-old would handle the divorce. Other than a few general articles, there wasn’t much out there on what I should expect and how to handle her. Sure, we found a book on divorce to read to her and we spoke with her teachers, but otherwise it felt like we were becoming new parents all over again. How would this impact our girl? Would she handle it well? What about in the future with her relationships? I felt like we were jumping off a bridge and hoping to land safely.

Read More: Potential Ways Your Young Child May Act Out During Divorce

Put Your Kids First,

Laura

But Mommy, You’ll Be Alone

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On Mother’s Day, I said goodbye to my dog.

She didn’t die. No, she’s still alive and perky at almost eleven years old, but I gave her to my ex-husband. I didn’t want to even though he will be great to her, has known her since she was two and loves her, but when I found out we (daughter and I) were losing our home in seventy days, I had to find a good safe home for my kid–and fast! The challenge in finding a place was threefold: one on a shoestring budget, one close to my ex in order to keep a great coparenting relationship, and one in a decent school district. When I found a place, it didn’t accept dogs. Worse still even if it did, I sadly cannot afford to care for my pup’s upkeep and allergy medications with rent over my head.

Read More: But Mommy,You’ll Be Alone

Alone But Not Lonely,

Laura

How to Get Winked at and Harassed at Work

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I am so fortunate to be at a job in which both the men and women respect each other. I can’t express how glad I am to be blessed with this opportunity, but what makes me sad is that this respectful work environment is a rarity in my experience. The joy I feel in being a regular person in my full-time job and not a trophy employee for some disgustingly inappropriate male boss, shouldn’t be uncommon — it should be the standard. But unfortunately, being a “body” instead of a worker has been a common instance for me in my employed life.

Read More: How to Get Winked at and Harassed at Work

Not A Barbie Doll,

Laura

New Moms: Just Say No to Frequent Visitors Right After Birth

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When people hear you’re going into labor (and by people I mean friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, etc.), everyone will be dying to meet the brand-new baby. Forget how exhausted you are or if you’re recovering from any kind of birth trauma: it’s all about the baby. You? No one cares. Sure, maybe a handful of people will ask how you are, but most will push your tired butt aside and say, “Give me that kid!”

It’s a sad reality for us moms that no one quite cares how labor went but they do care how the baby is. And who can blame folks for wanting to see your little bundle of joy? Not us! We love them more than the visitors do, but I can guarantee you that the visitors will want to come in droves. You’re probably thinking, “Oh sure, I can’t wait to have everyone see the baby,” but before you start planning visitors to filter in after Junior or Princess arrives, heed my advice carefully.

Read More: New Moms: Just Say No to Frequent Visitors Right After Birth

Keeping The Peace,

Laura

10 BRUTAL Truths About Loving A Control Freak

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When you love a control freak, you’re just the puppet … and your partner holds the strings.
I’ve made out, had sex, been in love, and dated quite a few control freaks. I suppose it’s not unusual for control (power and decision-making) to be an issue in romantic relationships but when you’re a person riddled with low self-esteem like I once was, you tend to attract and allow people to come in and take charge … even of things they shouldn’t be taking charge of.

I’ve been on both sides of the fence: both the controlled, and on occasion, the controller (although, for the most part, I can sadly say I’ve been the marionette on someone else’s strings). I adamantly believe that while it’s normal and common for one partner in a relationship to be the more dominant partner, neither party in any relationship should seek to control the other.

With that said, here is some advice for those of you who love control freaks:

Read More: 10 BRUTAL Truths About Loving A Control Freak

In Charge Finally,

Laura

I Was Not Prepared For How a Kid Changes Marriage

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One day I was talking to a friend who was having marital problems, and she said, “Well, hopefully when the baby comes, things will be different.” She thought a second child would change things with her marriage for the better, but notions like these are false, in my opinion. A child doesn’t make marital problems diminish. In fact, they magnify problems instead of help them go away, or if the problems don’t get worse, they most certainly don’t disappear, unfortunately.

A baby isn’t a magical wish maker. A baby is a person with needs, wants, and desires who will demand a lot of you and your partner. The more kids you have? The more demands.

Read More: I Was Not Prepared For How a Kid Changes Marriage

Knowing Is Half The Battle,

Laura