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Archive for June, 2015|Monthly archive page

Why Single Moms Should Have a Summer Fling

In dating, dating advice, divorce, Single Life, single mom on June 25, 2015 at 8:39 pm

It’s not easy being a single parent whether you’re a single parent from the get-go, from divorce, due to the death of your partner, or for any reason really. And if you want to become “unsingle” and partner up with someone, you find right away that dating is a thousand times more difficult than it was before you had your child.

When people ask if I am dating, I laugh. I admit I knew it would be hard, but I had no idea how truly difficult it would be until I was actually “attempting” to date. So many single moms out there would love to meet a man they can trust and include in their lives as well as their children’s, but it’s something that takes time. You just cannot have the wrong person intermingling in your children’s lives at any cost. Too often, people rush to get into a relationship right after a divorce or breakup with the hopes of giving their children a nuclear family again and because it can be scary to be alone.

Read More: Why Single Moms Should Have a Summer Fling

Where’s My Cabana Boy,

Laura

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I Didn’t Properly Grieve My Divorce — Until I Lost My House

In divorce, divorce advice on June 24, 2015 at 1:59 am
I still grapple with the fact that in this new home is there no memory of him.

It’s been almost 14 months since my ex-husband and I separated. You’d think that in a year’s time, I would’ve fully accepted that not only will I be divorced but that our daughter will be a child of divorce. Yet, I haven’t fully.

It’s not to say that I haven’t had months and weeks of time in which I felt confident and sure about our decision (we chose to divorce together — one of us didn’t leave the other) or that I think it’s the wrong choice, but there are still weeks and days in which I think getting a divorce is the wrong thing to do.

I wonder if I will ever feel “right” about it. I’ve read and written a ton of essays on divorce and nothing could’ve prepared me for how I felt when I lost our marital home.

Read More: I Didn’t Properly Grieve My Divorce — Until I Lost My House

Letting Go,

Laura

How to Get Reluctant Family Members to Help With Your Kids

In family life, motherhood, parenthood on June 23, 2015 at 1:38 am

We all have at least one: a reluctant family member who doesn’t want to help you with child care or interact with your kids. On occasion, we are happy that someone is reluctant as we may not feel comfortable leaving our kid in this person’s care, but from time to time, a mom could really use some helping hands, and when family is reluctant to step in, it’s frustrating. How do you encourage that family member to step in and help out without getting into a fight? It’s a delicate matter and depends on why the person is backing away from his or her family responsibilities as it were.

Read More: How to Get Reluctant Family Members to Help With Your Kids

Laura

12 Struggles Only People With Anxiety Will Understand

In anxiety, mental health on June 19, 2015 at 3:28 pm

Life is a b*tch and so is anxiety.
If you’re dealing with anxiety in any form, you can probably relate to these hardcore struggles that only people with anxiety truly understand.

Are you nervous about what you’re about to read? Then you’re definitely down with these struggles.

1. “I need to talk to you later” is a mind rollercoaster.

When people say they need to talk to you — like your partner or your boss — but that they’re busy right now and will contact you later, you want to kill them. Why? Because now you’re really worried and thinking the worst.

It has to be some horrific news they’re about to drop on you, and the minutes, hours, and days you need to wait in order to hear their “news” has you in such a tizzy that your little anxious brain is running off in tangents.

Read More: 12 Struggles Only People With Anxiety Will Understand

Don’t Worry, Be Happy– The Most BS song for someone with anxiety,

Laura

Do the Men Move on First Before the Women, After Divorce?

In divorce, divorce advice, marriage, relationships on June 18, 2015 at 5:33 pm

Every time I have told someone about the divorce, all I hear is, “He will move on before you. The men always do.” Or, “Oh the men need someone so he’ll marry again before you do.” Or, “Well you know…men get over these things quickly. The women stay alone.”

I felt rattled by these words because based on every stranger, coworker and friend, women suffer through loneliness and men find happiness instantaneously. It was the fiftieth time in my life that I wished for a penis.

‘Why is this?” I asked, angry at my supposed lot–the lot of the lonely woman.

Read More: Do the Men Move on First Before the Women, After Divorce?

Moving on or Moving up?

Laura

How to Survive and Thrive in a Moms’ Group

In motherhood on June 18, 2015 at 5:30 pm

You just had a baby, or perhaps you’ve decided you’re tired of parenting without a net — a support net, that is. So you think to yourself, “Maybe it’s time to find a moms’ group so I don’t feel so alone.” Whether you’re joining one on Facebook, via Meetup, or at your local hospital, it’s a great idea and can be such a positive experience. But before you go to be just “one of the moms,” mind these tips on how to survive and thrive in a moms’ group!

Read More: How to Survive and Thrive in a Moms’ Group

We All Need A Friend,

Laura

The Three Stages of Depression, as Defined by Pathetic 80’s Love Ballads

In humor, mental health on June 18, 2015 at 3:07 pm

If you’ve ever been depressed and had someone ask how you feel, after a while it gets boring just saying, “I’m depressed … still.” or “I’m depressed … yet again.”

How does one quantify the depths of his or her depression in an adequate way? It’s not like you’re at the hospital with the pain chart that says “1-10” with varying degrees of sad or painful faces.

Instead of pondering how to truly express your heartache and sadness, I have made this terrific chart on how to explain your level of misery using pathetic 80’s love ballads. Plug in, tune out, and cry like a little b*tch as much as you want. Now your friends and family can truly understand the depths of your doom and gloom.

Read More: The Three Stages of Depression, as Defined by Pathetic 80’s Love Ballads

Take A Look At Me Now,

Laura

Why You Shouldn’t Always Tell Your Daughter She’s Pretty

In girl empowerment, motherhood, parenthood, women on June 16, 2015 at 8:46 pm

I hear myself saying “Oh, that looks very pretty” or “I love what you’re wearing” or “You’re very pretty” when I meet or see a little girl I know. It’s a knee-jerk response conditioned from years of growing up around five women and one man (my dad) who worked in the garment business and knows how to speak to women. One of the first things almost everyone does when they meet a woman is compliment her appearance.

Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty.

You look great. Fabulous. Did you lose weight? I love your shoes. Where did you get that dress? I really like your mascara.

She’s such a pretty girl. What a beautiful girl you are!

Read More: Why You Shouldn’t Always Tell Your Daughter She’s Pretty

Tell Her She’s Strong,

Laura

Why You Shouldn’t Care If You’re the “Lesser” Parent in Divorce

In divorce, divorce advice, single mom, single parent life on June 15, 2015 at 6:07 pm

What does it mean to be the “lesser” parent, and is there such a thing? Well, no, of course there’s not such a thing in reality: if a child has two active parents in the aftermath of divorce, they are both equal and worthy and the child is lucky! Of course, if you have been divorced, are divorced, or are going through a divorce, you know that in our minds there is this fictional construct of the “lesser” parent. The lesser parent makes less money and can take the child on fewer or no vacations than the other parent. The lesser parent cannot make a grand Christmas or birthday, while the other can. The lesser parent is the more broke parent of the two. The lesser parent is the one looking around aimlessly for helping hands, while the other parent has plenty of support.

Read More: Why You Shouldn’t Care If You’re the “Lesser” Parent in Divorce

The Myth Is In My Brain,

Laura

Why You Should Divorce Your Diamonds When You Divorce Your Ex

In divorce, divorce advice on June 11, 2015 at 7:10 pm

It had been over a year since the last time I looked at my wedding and engagement rings, until this past week.

My daughter and I were living in the marital home until my ex signed over the deed. This was the most solid decision he could make as we were in risk of foreclosure and as sole owner of the home, he would have been impacted the worst. Of course even though this was the best decision made in bad circumstances, I was not ready to leave the house financially. I had seventy-three days to move and so I frantically found a place to live.

Once I actually had all our stuff in my new home I realized that with money being so tight, perhaps I should sell my wedding and engagement rings. Those beautiful and delicate objects have been stuffed away in a drawer far from sight and mind. I couldn’t bear to look at them anymore. I put the thought away though, realizing I wasn’t ready yet to say goodbye to my rings and figured once I become desperate, I would make the plunge.

Read More: Why You Should Divorce Your Diamonds When You Divorce Your Ex

Taking the Plunge,

Laura