Should You Meet Your Ex’s New Partner Before Your Kids Do?

For most single and divorced parents, getting to meet an ex’s new boyfriend or girlfriend before the kids do is not even an option. Your ex wouldn’t think of even bothering to do that, but if your ex takes your opinion seriously and wants you to get a feel for his new partner before your children meet her, do you go? Or do you say, “No thanks”?

In my opinion, unless it’s incredibly hard for you (we’ll discuss this later), you should go!

Read More: Should You Meet Your Ex’s New Partner Before Your Kids Do?

Take the High Road,

Laura

Savvy Lady of the Year 2015

I am very excited and honored to announce that I am the Savvy Lady of the year for 2015!

Visit this page to learn about my nomination and the organization behind it, Savvy Ladies, a non-profit organization providing financial education to women!

More about my award & Savvy Ladies

Proud Woman

Laura

4 Signs Your Boyfriend (or Girlfriend) Is Dodging Spending Time With Your Kids

Note: This Can apply to single dads dating as well!

You’ve met a guy and he seems great! So great that you want to introduce him to your kids, but somehow, that hasn’t happened yet. Why? Well, there’s always some sort of “reason” and you’re starting to wonder what’s going on with this man. Is he afraid to meet your kids? Maybe!

Or perhaps he has met the kids, but he doesn’t seem to end up spending any time with them because something seems to “come up.” Is he avoiding them? Maybe!

Before you start carving your initials in stone with the new beau, figure out if your new guy is avoiding meeting the kids.

Read More: 4 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Dodging Spending Time With Your Kids

Don’t Date a Dud,

Laura

7 Ways Depressed People Love Differently

Are you in love with someone who’s depressed?

I’m so thankful to not be depressed. Depression might just be one of the worst things ever because it’s as if you’re sinking no matter how hard you try to swim to the surface. It’s as if you’re bound and gagged and no matter what knife you use to slice the bounds, you can’t.

I’m what they call a bubbly, effervescent woman, but I’ve experienced depression in my life. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, 14.8 million American adults have Major Depressive Disorder per year. That’s a lot of people.

So, whether you’ve been depressed for a few days, during a traumatic incident or breakup, for months or years, or perhaps you haven’t been depressed but know someone who has, chances are you’ve loved someone with depression before. Or been the depressed lover, as it were.

Read More: 7 Ways Depressed People Love Differently

With Empathy,

Laura

Why I Don’t Let My Kid Use a Tablet or Technology (Very Often)

I’m not writing this to start a parenting war. I’m not writing this because I think I know better or I think parents who use tablets and technology with their children are bad parents. I don’t think that at all. I’m writing this because it’s important to me to hash out why I think holding off on constant technology use is so important. Every child is different, and each parent has his or her own unique challenges and methods of dealing with his or her kids. Sometimes, a tablet is a necessary evil and useful learning and play tool. To me, technology is not an all-or-nothing conversation but rather something that needs to be monitored and tweaked, especially at such a young age.

Read More: Why I Don’t Let My Kid Use a Tablet or Technology (Very Often)

I’m Strict About It,

Laura

Hey, Ladies! 6 Ways To Shamelessly Say “No” Like A Man

Ever since the caveman days, men have been saying “no” with ease. But women? It’s almost as if we’re allergic to saying the word “no.” It doesn’t matter how logical our reason is for saying no, we still somehow feel bad when we have to let someone down for any reason.

Somehow, we believe that the world’s fate and our friend, lover, neighbor, associate, family member’s happiness rests on our shoulders when it’s not true.

I find myself to be an assertive person, but I still find myself fumbling to say no more often than not — or worse, giving some wordy explanation or multiple explanations as to why I’ve said no.

I can’t simply say “no” without feeling badly and I know there are a million other women like me, so I’ve decided to take back my right to say no by taking lessons from men, and so should you, ladies. We’re not here to please everyone!

Read More: Hey, Ladies! 6 Ways To Shamelessly Say “No” Like A Man

Just Say No,

Laura

Do You Spoil Your Kids?

It’s hard to not love your kid and want to be good to him or her or them (if you’ve got more than one), but sometimes it’s easier to spoil our kids than we realize. When you’re the one doing the parenting, it’s hard to look outside of yourself and analyze your actions from time to time. Have you had people or family members say your kid is a brat? Do you think your kid is a brat? Sometimes? Every child is bratty on occasion, but if you spoil a child too much, you end up with a Veruca straight out of Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, and we all know what happened to her! Before your kid gets drowned in a sea of chocolate or falls into a garbage chute, decide if your child is too spoiled, and then what happens next? As a former teacher, it was easy to see which kids were doted on at home and facing a cold, harsh reality in real life, but it was hard to change anything without the parents’ help. Don’t be immune to admitting you’ve gone wrong with the spoiling. The later you start to change, the harder it is to see results with your child, but it’s better late than never!

Read More: Do You Spoil Your Kids?

It’s Never Too Late to Change,

Laura

The Budget Guide For Single or Divorced Moms

Did you just get a divorce? Did your partner walk out on you or vice versa? Is your child’s dad out of the picture? Whether this happened today or happened from the conception of your child, budgeting on your own can be tricky, especially if it’s something you’ve never done on your own before.

I had lived on my own before I met my ex-husband, but during the duration of our relationship and marriage, he managed the budget and money, so when it came time for me to take over my finances, I was nervous because it fell all on me and I didn’t want to make any mistakes, because hey — money mistakes are costly, pun intended! Here are some tips and thoughts on budgeting, single mom style!

Read More:The Budget Guide For Single or Divorced Moms

Watch Your Dollars,

Laura

10 Ways To Waste Your Life Worrying Instead Of LIVING

It’s very important if you’re a worrier to make sure you’re worrying about anything and everything that can happen.

In fact, I’m pretty sure you don’t need to double check 1,000 times if you’ve worried enough today, because if you’re an anxious person, worrying comes naturally to you — and you do it with flair!

Why “keep calm” when instead, you can waste seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, and then some worrying and preparing for the worst-case scenario? Doesn’t the latter sound so thrilling?

1. You put off fun activities.

Instead of going to that party, taking that interesting job interview, or meeting up with that guy your friend told you about, you decided to worry yourself until you were convinced that somehow everything would be god awful. After one hour of obsessively worrying, you determined that this most certainly would be a disaster, and it’d be better for you to just stay home.

Read More: 10 Ways To Waste Your Life Worrying Instead Of LIVING

Living it Up,

Laura

What it’s Like to Own the Jewish Name Without the Education

Lifshitz is a decidedly, very Jewish last name.

Growing up in a mostly Catholic town, people assumed my “Jewishness” without really questioning me about my background unless it was to ask some token Jewish question.

“What’s the story of Passover?”

Or

“What do those Dreidel symbols mean actually?”

Most of the times, I mumbled a general answer partially because as kids, they weren’t too invested in my answer and partially because sometimes, I didn’t know the answer to their Jewquiries.

And it was awkward.

How could I own this Jewish name and identity, yet not understand enough of what this association means? As a child and teenager, I brushed these things aside but as an adult it bothered me.

Read More: What it’s Like to Own the Jewish Name Without the Education

A Mutt,

Laura