Month: September 2015

10 Ways To Waste Your Life Worrying Instead Of LIVING

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It’s very important if you’re a worrier to make sure you’re worrying about anything and everything that can happen.

In fact, I’m pretty sure you don’t need to double check 1,000 times if you’ve worried enough today, because if you’re an anxious person, worrying comes naturally to you — and you do it with flair!

Why “keep calm” when instead, you can waste seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, and then some worrying and preparing for the worst-case scenario? Doesn’t the latter sound so thrilling?

1. You put off fun activities.

Instead of going to that party, taking that interesting job interview, or meeting up with that guy your friend told you about, you decided to worry yourself until you were convinced that somehow everything would be god awful. After one hour of obsessively worrying, you determined that this most certainly would be a disaster, and it’d be better for you to just stay home.

Read More: 10 Ways To Waste Your Life Worrying Instead Of LIVING

Living it Up,

Laura

What it’s Like to Own the Jewish Name Without the Education

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Lifshitz is a decidedly, very Jewish last name.

Growing up in a mostly Catholic town, people assumed my “Jewishness” without really questioning me about my background unless it was to ask some token Jewish question.

“What’s the story of Passover?”

Or

“What do those Dreidel symbols mean actually?”

Most of the times, I mumbled a general answer partially because as kids, they weren’t too invested in my answer and partially because sometimes, I didn’t know the answer to their Jewquiries.

And it was awkward.

How could I own this Jewish name and identity, yet not understand enough of what this association means? As a child and teenager, I brushed these things aside but as an adult it bothered me.

Read More: What it’s Like to Own the Jewish Name Without the Education

A Mutt,

Laura

8 Tips For Successfully Coparenting During the School Year

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Back to school is here, which means doing the coparenting and school dance that can be oh so tricky. You know, how your ex finds out about a major project homework assignment yet somehow you didn’t? Not out of maliciousness, but due to poor communication or perhaps out of maliciousness (but I sure hope not!) If your child is going back and forth between two homes like many divorced kids today, school work can be tricky. Manage the school year and keep the flow of communication open between you, your ex, and the school with a few tips!

Read More: 8 Tips For Successfully Coparenting During the School Year

Teamwork Baby,

Laura

Why Divorced Moms Need More Than a Divorce Selfie — They Need Transformation

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Now that my ex-husband and I have an official agreement and are sending our divorce papers in, I am reaching the “end” of the divorce marathon and wonder how I will truly feel upon that finish line. Interestingly, this is all happening right as the brand-new “divorce selfie” has made a splash on social media. I know without even asking that my ex would have no interest in taking a “divorce selfie,” but I remain divided about the idea. Would documenting that moment remind me later on down the line of why I decided to divorce and how we have done it so amicably? Or would it simply be one brief glimpse of the many emotions divorce has brought to the table for me?

Don’t get me wrong. The divorce selfie is nice. Seeing people divorce amicably is always refreshing. However, I don’t think it’s truly indicative of the whole divorce process.

Read More: Why Divorced Moms Need More Than a Divorce Selfie — They Need Transformation

Believing in Me,

Laura

How to Support a Mom With Postpartum Depression

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I remember vividly watching someone at a moms’ group who was suffering with postpartum depression as she broke down. My heart ached for this mom. As someone who has experienced depression in the past, I could only imagine how hard it must be to feel that way while caring for a baby, especially your very first baby. I felt so fortunate that after having a difficult pregnancy, my postpartum life was a happy one. Having an easy baby helped. People have a hard enough time wrapping their heads around depression and mental health issues in the first place; the idea that a woman could be severely depressed after an event that is supposed to bring someone the greatest joy is even harder for people to comprehend. Yet according to the CDC, 600,000 women get PPD annually in the United States alone. That’s a huge number for something that’s supposedly “rare” to happen. Obviously it’s not so unusual or rare if so many women struggle with it, yet it’s still not something that’s talked about very openly. To feel depressed after birth is almost sinful in some people’s eyes.

Read More: How to Support a Mom With Postpartum Depression

Here For My “Sisters,”

Laura

Yes, Divorce Is a Failed Marriage and That’s Okay!

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There’s a lot of dialogue about whether or not a divorce is a failure or not. People get very defensive stating that “My divorce is not a failure because I have great kids from it,” or “My divorce is not a failure because I learned to love,” etc.

I as an almost officially-divorced woman, I understand the reasoning behind those statements. I too am a mother and am glad I was married if not only for the life lessons, but also for the chance to love and my gorgeous daughter. However, people have gotten too defensive and have forgotten the wonderful opportunity behind failure.

Failing means you tried to achieve something. Failure means you gave it all you got. Failure means you took a chance.

Take a step back and rid yourself of all the negative connotations in that word “failure” and let’s consider how truly beneficial failing is for you and your life.

Think about something you’re great at — whether it’s a hobby, passion or a job.

Did you start out rocking it? Or did you make a few stumbles and hit a few rough patches before reaching stride?

Read More: Yes, Divorce Is a Failed Marriage and That’s Okay!

A Big Fat “F”,

Laura

The Reason Divorcing Families Should Limit the Time They Spend Together

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My ex and I had decided when we first separated that we would make this as easy as possible on our daughter. We figured doing things together beyond just the school events and her birthday would be helpful to her. Why would spending time together hurt her? We wanted to be the divorced couple that did it differently. No fights in the school parking lot. No heated custody battles. Just a smooth transition for our girl and why not go together to pumpkin pick or see the tree at Rockefeller Center at Christmastime? It seemed harmless and actually helpful. What child of divorce wouldn’t want his or her parents to get along and spend time together when they could?

Well, if the child of divorce that finds his or her parents spending time together . . . as confusing.

Read More: The Reason Divorcing Families Should Limit the Time They Spend Together

Communicate With Your Child & Ex,

Laura

The Mental Checklist of Mistakes: Parenting With Anxiety

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Parenting with anxiety means you’re never quite parenting alone. Nope, there’s always that thread or undercurrent of fear or worry that accompanies us anxious folks that we try to battle or subdue in order to parent without fear. And when I say parent without fear, I mean “parent without the fear of everything and anything thanks to anxiety making you a bad parent,” not parenting without fear, period, because what parent doesn’t get a little afraid sometimes?

As a person who has anxiety — anxiety doesn’t have me! (well, at least not today) — managing anxiety is crucial so that way my daughter doesn’t feel anxious and I feel better, too. I’ve had to mentally train myself to not hoverand it helps that I was once a teacher, so I know the importance of sitting back and letting children do things on their own. Despite my worrywart ways, I am adept at encouraging my daughter to be independent and not to ask me to do things for her. Still, the voice inside my head that panics from time to time when she’s trying something risky at the park or the voice inside my head that scolds me over every little thing I have done is a beast I have to master and control.

Read More: The Mental Checklist of Mistakes: Parenting With Anxiety

Deep Breaths,

Laura

What Men Want, According to Online Dating

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I’m trying this online dating thing. You see, I’m late 30s and almost officially divorced. As a single mom, I don’t have much options meeting men and when I do go out, guys in their mid-20s flock to me. It’s sweet but not really practical.

So here I am, finally splashing in the big kid pool called dating. I wasn’t sure what men wanted at my age. I mean, I had been monogamous for years and so I didn’t know what to expect. I signed up for a few sites, and low and behold, I have learned a few things about what men want, according to online dating. I thought it would be conversation, company, and maybe sex.
Turns out it’s not exactly what I had expected.

Read More on HuffPost Comedy: What Men Want, According to Online Dating

Yard Work is for the Birds,

Laura

5 Things to Consider About Your Child’s Teacher This Year

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It’s time for back to school, and as we hope for a social, happy, and academically successful year for our children, let’s take a minute to think about our children’s teachers.

Not every teacher that our children have throughout the years will be our favorite. Some we will love, some we may hate, and others we may feel indifferent toward. Of course, if your child does have a poor teacher, you should speak your mind about this professional to the principal and potentially the superintendent. Not all teachers are created equal.

However, before you’ve made your judgments — whether good or bad — about the teacher this year, consider these five things about the new teacher.

They Work After the Bell Rings

People like to think that teachers have it easy. After all, they get Summers off and end their workdays by 3 p.m. at the latest. It’s a sweet deal, no? I mean, I work all year-round and get out at 5 p.m. It’s got to be nice having a shorter workday.

Except for it isn’t a shorter workday.

Read More: 5 Things to Consider About Your Child’s Teacher This Year

Apple for the Teacher,

Laura