Why Saying “Just One Kid” to a Mom With an Only Child Is a Hideous Crime

Whether it’s innocent or not, it’s not uncommon to hear these words uttered to me as a mom of an only child:

“You have just one kid?”

Yes, just one kid.

There’s something damning and almost insulting about this statement. “Just,” to me, signifies that one child is not enough. It suggests that everyone should indeed be having multiple children or at the very least two. “Just” screams, “Oh, you only have one kid. That’s nothing. I have a lot of kids. Now THAT’S a lot of work!”

Read More: Why Saying “Just One Kid” to a Mom With an Only Child Is a Hideous Crime

One is Enough, Thanks,

Laura

How to Celebrate Thanksgiving Without Your Kids After Divorce

Holidays after divorce can be hard because it will most likely be the first time you, as a mother, are away from or not with your children for the holidays. I won’t lie — it is hard and sad, especially the first year, but it doesn’t have to be doom and gloom.

I made the great mistake for a long time, holding on to negative thinking. I have to be honest: it was hard to escape. But after some hard work on myself and time spent thinking through my behaviors and actions, I was able to see that, while life and divorce is not always peaches and cream, how I view my stresses and downfalls has a lot to do with how I rise above them, and this applies to divorce and holidays. Life after divorce can be incredibly life-altering and stressful, but it can also be joyful and happy if you set out to find joy. Effectively coping with divorce at Thanksgiving time will help you not only find lots to be grateful for, but also will help the holiday without your kids be a happier one.

Read More: How to Celebrate Thanksgiving Without Your Kids After Divorce

Stay Positive,

Laura

Moms: Are You Having an Emotional Affair?

There’s a special friend that you love talking to — and this person is not your partner! What harm is there in a friend? Shouldn’t married parents have friends? Well, of course. We can’t expect our spouses or our children to bring us every drop of happiness and fulfill our every need, but there’s a difference between a platonic friend and an emotional affair and sometimes, moms cross the line whether they realize they are . . . or not.

Before you tell me, “Oh women aren’t the ones having affairs,” look at these statistics on infidelity thanks to statisticbrain.com, and stay silent:

Men who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they’ve had: 57%
Women who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they’ve had: 54%
Married men who strayed at least once during marriage: 22%
Married women who strayed at least once during marriage: 14%

Read More: Moms: Are You Having an Emotional Affair?

Don’t Do It!

Laura

Vows to My Only Child

Having an only child means I’ve heard it all.

She needs a friend for life!

What happens when you’re gone? She’ll have no one!

She’ll grow up spoiled.

People speak without thinking. I never asked for their opinions on how many kids I need to have, nor did anyone ask me if I always wanted an only child or if circumstances dictated that my daughter would be an only. Either way, I think having an only child is special. We are very close and have a tight bond. After growing up in a house with three siblings in a family of six (five of us are female), it’s been very nice having a different and intimate relationship with my little party of two (Dad and I are divorced).

Read More: Vows to My Only Child

I Solemnly Swear,

Laura

Married Folks: STOP Telling Me I’ll Find ‘The One’ If I Stop Looking

Whenever I comment on how difficult dating after divorce is, married person after married person says to me, “You’ll find the right one when you’re not looking.”

Here’s a reality check for those folks: as a single parent who works round the clock, works with women, is friends with a bunch of married people, lives in suburbia with a child, and is close to forty, if I stop getting out there and dating, I won’t meet anyone … EVER.

There aren’t a plethora of dudes in their thirties and forties just hanging out in Target near the grocery items waiting to get to know me. There aren’t a zillion men hanging around my cubicle dying to catch my first name. There aren’t a bunch of friends’ friends and neighbors’ cousins to go around for a woman in her late thirties with a kid who’s looking for a dude who isn’t a total wreck.

Read More: Married Folks: STOP Telling Me I’ll Find ‘The One’ If I Stop Looking

You Don’t Get it,

Laura

Why You Should be Thankful You’re Jewish

In case you missed the memo, it’s November, which means, it’s time for Thanksgiving! Time for gratitude, thankfulness, and generally appreciating what we have. In a society in which we are all dying to have “more, more, more,” finding gratitude in everyday life, and truly cherishing what we have as opposed to lamenting what we don’t have, seems to be a challenge and a rarity. So, while you’re sitting around saying how grateful you are for your home, family, job, health, or what may have you, don’t forget to be thankful you’re Jewish!

Yes, that’s right: be thankful you’re Jewish.

Remember, we’re G-d’s chosen people. I mean, that’s pretty darn nifty. Talk about natural selection and statistical odds of being born awesome. You my friends — we — are pretty awesome!

The Beginning — the Foundation

Judaism is the first religion to teach monotheism, or the worship of one sole god. We started a trend amongst major world religions today. Not too shabby, eh?

Read More: Why You Should be Thankful You’re Jewish

Gratitude & Thankfulness is Sexy,

Laura

3 Reasons to Be Thankful For Your Divorce (Even When It Sucks)

It is very hard when the holidays roll around to feel good about your divorce for a number of reasons, whether it’s the financial stress of the holidays or the emotional stress and feelings around sharing your children and/or not having the same family as you once did. No one would deny the stress and sadness that can exist around the holidays for a divorced parent. I myself started to feel a sense of dread once we hit mid-October, worried about who I will spend the holidays with and how I will feel, until I finally told myself: enough already!

Yes, as a divorced, single mom you will probably have tough emotions at the holidays, and this is absolutely acceptable, but I did not want to resign myself to the idea that the holidays are going to “stink” or be horrible.
Read More: 3 Reasons to Be Thankful For Your Divorce (Even When It Sucks)

Tis the Season for Gratitude,

Laura

A Letter To Myself On My Wedding Day — 7 Years Before My Divorce

Dear Bride-to-be,

It was the most beautiful day, wasn’t it? A perfect sunny sky and warm weather. And anyone who knows the East Coast knows that a spring day on the East Coast means you have a fifty-fifty chance of either cold showers or bright sunshine. Mother Nature blessed you and blessed your husband-to-be at the time with a gorgeous day and sky.

You had your vows written. Every sweet and sentimental word, every beautiful thought was true. There were no lies said or untruths spoken as you stood in front of an officiant, your friends, your family, and each other.

That bride-to-be saw marriage and married life as full of hope and potential. Somewhat too sunny of a view considering there had been some red flags between you and your husband-to-be before saying “I do,” but not once did you, future Laura and almost divorcée — say, “Don’t do it!”

Read More: A Letter To Myself On My Wedding Day — 7 Years Before My Divorce

Proud of Who I’m Becoming,

Laura