This year I am dreading the holiday spend on my own. It is double for me since we celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas, but I do try to avoid going crazy. My kid is 4 and won’t know if a few of her gifts are from the dollar store, right? When you get a divorce, it’s very easy to quickly fall into the Who’s a better parent competition, especially around the holidays. The fact is no one ever wins that competition usually and trying to outdo each other at the holidays is an even more pitiful race to try to win. For me, I have no clue what my ex is getting our kid and while he may out-shop me (my kid is his parents’ only grandchild), I know full well that it doesn’t matter. At the end of the day, our love is not measured in Disney trips, Christmas presents, and dolls. Our love is measured in the time we give to our kids. The attention, energy, and devotion we share and show for our little ones. No Barbie can say “I love you” quite like the gift of time. Enough said!
However, it’s fairly easy to feel insecure and guilty about your role as a parent after divorce. We know our little ones’ lives are affected by our marital demises, and it’s hard to not watch your ex’s life from afar and think perhaps he or she might have it better than you, but those types of thoughts are not worth your mental energy. We cannot give our kids our marriages back, but we can give ourselves and our children a happy life after divorce.
Don’t be Childish,