To the Divorced Guys: What It Means to Be a Nice Guy

I understand that as a woman, the dudes are going to give me hell for this.
Please men, I love you dearly. In fact, probably way too much. I know women are “bad” too, but see I am not out in the world dating women, so I’m not as invested in other women and their dating habits as I am with the pool of guys I am meeting as a single woman.

So gentlemen, listen with an open heart.

A lot of men claim to be “nice guys.” And indeed, there are quite a few of you out there. Namely, I am thinking of my friends Mike, Chris, Steve, Tim, Stephen, and there are a ton more but, there are also impostors. Men who claim to be nice, but aren’t really. This isn’t because they’re intentionally evil, but that they’re not “all together” just yet. Under the issues, the man is nice. Above the issues? The man is toxic.

Let me just say — there is nothing more brutal than dating a man who is not over his divorce. Since separating from my ex, I have been on some dates the past two years, and I have met quite a few men who either openly or covertly ( with no evil intention but simply unbeknownst to them) were not over their marriages, yet were out in the dating world attempting to mix with the female sex.

Read More: To the Divorced Guys: What It Means to Be a Nice Guy

Be Nice,



5 thoughts on “To the Divorced Guys: What It Means to Be a Nice Guy

  1. Dan says:

    No hating here, Laura! You make some great points in this article/post.

    From a divorced guy’s perspective… there are simply far too many ‘people’ (men and women) in the dating arena prematurely.
    I’ve found that the most important question that someone can ask themselves is if they are truly ‘Emotionally Available’. I’ve come across a never-ending stream of women that are simply emotionally wrecked from an ex experience. Their friends tell them, ‘get out and date, it will help!’ It doesn’t help, and in most cases causes them more confusion.
    If people spent more time making peace with their issues than looking for a distraction from those issues, those of us truly ready for this would have much better luck.
    Just my brief, humble opinion on the matter as a divorced guy, active in the singles’ scene.

  2. mik1999 says:

    Great observations Laura. I’ve wondered why there appears to be so many ‘not-nice’ guys (and girls) out there. After spending a weekend with my aging and ill father, I had thought. He and my mom have a huge group of friends who are all unbelievably ‘nice’ and supportive and there for my parents. I think they come form a generation where being present for others and being apart of their lives was very important. I fear we are (often) missing this connection in our generation… making us less considerate of other people.

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