How to Get More Sleep as a Mom

It came as no surprise to me when the Centers For Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recently revealed a study showing that 44 percent of single moms with kids under 18 at home do not get the recommended minimum seven hours of slumber per night. Headlines blared about our lack of sleep: Single Moms Are Tired! And truly, this was no news to those of us pulling the single mom shift either because of divorce or because dad decided to be a “no-show” parent. But what news articles and websites didn’t tell us single mommies was how to get more sleep! We know we’re sleep deprived but could you tell us how we could get more shut-eye? Somehow? Here are my suggestions:

Leave the Country or Use a Sleep Schedule

Leave the country and run away. That way, you will be alone and able to catch up on hours of much needed rest. Of course, that would also mean not being a mom anymore. So unless you’re ready to jump ship, instead of packing your bags and moving to Guatemala, try setting a sleep schedule for yourself.

Read More: How to Get More Sleep as a Mom

I’m Tired,

Laura

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Set Your Price High

I recently met a man randomly. It wasn’t online. It was a simple chance encounter.

Honestly, it was the kind of random encounter that novelists and film makers concoct in some huge romantic comedy or drama. It was the type of thing I could talk about happening in theory, but it wouldn’t actually happen.

Until it did.

He was a supposedly, loving, smart, educated, kind and easy-going man. We had an instant connection and rapport. He didn’t leave me alone for much more than a second, always calling or texting me to ask how I was. To tell me he was thinking about me. To help me with something. Always another excuse to just randomly stop by. Even if he wasn’t in the area, he was suddenly in the area.

I thought to myself, “What a great guy.”

I couldn’t get enough of our conversations. Everything about him, was amazing. It was as if I had known him forever. I could sit in silence with him, happily.

Yes, me. Quiet. With him. A man.

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3 Ways to Gently Nudge Your Husband to Be Better in the Bedroom

Your best man may not have the heart to tell you what he wants differently in the bedroom, but he certainly will ask for you to try new things or simply to enter the bedroom with him. But moms? Well, we hesitate to ask for anything different in bed lest we hurt the male ego, which can brood silently for weeks, months, and years without a word until bam — he’s snapped! You don’t want to hurt Dad’s feelings if he’s not quite hitting the spot in the bedroom, but in a healthy relationship you should be able to ask for something you want (within reason) and the person should be willing to at least hear you out. Here are some ways you can gently nudge your man to be better in the bedroom without releasing the wrath of khan or ending up in divorce court!

Do the Work For Him With Confidence and Play

Confidence and play make the medicine go down in the most delightful way when done carefully. So if his spoon full of sugar isn’t quite right, whether it’s a particular position or oral sex technique, take the lead! Ask to switch positions, or ask him if you can show him how you love it. Tell him it would make you so happy to do the work and let him sit back and watch (and hopefully) learn.

Read More:3 Ways to Gently Nudge Your Husband to Be Better in the Bedroom

Get Into It Girl!

Laura

Single on Valentine’s Day? Who Cares!

Hi, my name is Laura and I am single on Valentine’s Day.
When I enter any store or public location, I am harassed and dazzled with hearts of pink and red and chocolate boxes and cards for people of all ages.
When I go to the store, my daughter points out all the Valentine’s Day candy she sees because apparently to four year-old’s, every holiday is a celebration of chocolate and gifts…upon them.
Truly, it is though.
I am Laura, and I am almost divorced, separated for almost two whole years and am completely and utterly single.
When I go to websites and social media outlets, retargeting ads hit me saying “Buy this sexy lingerie” or “Indulge in the taste of sweet chocolates.”
I am Laura, and I have gone on a bunch of dates and had not one real boyfriend (minus one guy who got really close) in the time I have been separated.

Read More: Single on Valentine’s Day? Who Cares!

As One & Happy,

Laura

7 Signs You’re WAY Too Freakin’ Hard On Yourself

Be nice to yourself. You’re doing better than you think you are.

We are our own worst critics, but some of us have a literal scoreboard in our head that’s constantly giving us the “thumbs down.” It’s like living with a movie review team in your head. Except, unlike the famed Siskel and Ebert, the critic in your mind doesn’t have a day off or a moment of rest.

On one hand, being hard on yourself has pluses: people who don’t really care about what they say and do aren’t typically out making the world a better place. Someone who’s hard on themselves is someone who cares about their time on this planet, and that’s a good thing! Where it becomes problematic is the intense self-criticism that sucks the joy out of life and the intense “second-guessing.”

Are you too hard on yourself? Here are a few signs you need to ease up the pressure.

  1. Your accomplishments are never enough.

You got published somewhere huge. You landed the big raise. Your master’s thesis was accepted. It’s all just bliss and kittens to everyone … except you. You should have done X. You should have gotten 5K more in that raise. Did they really approve your thesis idea? Sure, but I bet they didn’t love it.

Read More: 7 Signs You’re WAY Too Freakin’ Hard On Yourself

Be Good to Yourself,

Laura

Why You Don’t Have to Be Friends With Your Ex

When my ex and I first split, I felt it was crucial we be a unified front as much as possible, for our daughter’s sake. I still believe this — however, we took that unified front to the maximum. We did many joint activities together, and as time went on, I felt a pressure both from others and from myself to make sure we were all a “happy, amicable divorced family.” Is this truly such a bad notion to have? Absolutely not! But some of these altruistic ideas created problems that I would not have had had we kept a civil but more distant approach to separating.

For example, too much joint time together confused our very young daughter. It also confused us, emotionally. The more time we spent together and got along “well enough,” it made us wonder: Was divorce really worth the pain and suffering we would experience?

Read More: Why You Don’t Have to Be Friends With Your Ex

You Just Have to Be a Big Boy or Girl,

Laura