I had a C-section. Not by choice, but because after four hours and counting of pushing, the baby was stuck. I took a break and tried again. Five hours later? Still no baby. So I had a C-section. It felt extremely weird lying there in a cross position. As a half-Jewish girl, I sort of felt like I was lying on a crucifix as they did the operation. The sensation of my organs being moved around was absolutely freaky, and afterwards, on my very first night in the hospital, I almost pooped myself because I couldn’t get up and my former husband was sleeping in the hospital visitor bed next to me. He couldn’t hear me trying to wake him to help me, but thankfully, a lovely nurse came and I didn’t make a show of myself. Poop crisis averted, only to lead to many poop crises brought to the world by my breastfeeding daughter. Oh, C-section! You were an interesting experience.

There are a few things, though, that as a woman who had a C-section, I would rather not hear from someone ever again.

Read More: 4 Things C-Section Moms Don’t Want to Hear

Ssh,

Laura